Dernier Recours by Mystic4Ever

 Ne touche plus mon cœur avec tes lettres roses
Tu as le don pour bien envelopper les choses
Avec du beau papier et du ruban autours
Comme si il ne tient qu’à cela ton amour.

Accorde-moi sans faim cette ferveur latente
Que sur moi tes lignes ne soient plus élégantes
Et je ne veux plus de tes mots couverts d’envie
Ni du miel aigre-doux de tes lèvres d’ami.

Sépare tes pas du feu de mes habitudes
Car je préfère à toi le masque solitude
Mon ombre dépasse ton reste de soleil
Et ma peau se déploie aux creux de ton sommeil.

Détache tes rêves du bord de mes absences
Les discours valent moins que le fer du silence
Moi je ne rêve plus depuis bien trop longtemps
Je perds au fil des maux cette notion du « tant ».

Je ne supporte plus que tu aimes me plaire
Ni tes allers venus au souffle de mes terres
Je te demande juste avec ma permission
Blesse- moi pour qu’enfin j’oublie jusqu’à ton nom…

Le 15 Novembre 2012


“Let There Be Light”, and there was Light

“In Greek myth, the Titan Prometheus stole fire from the gods to bring it to humanity. Our benefactor was later punished by the gods of Olympus, sent to the Underworld and continuously tortured for his transgression. The light he gave to us mythically is an important symbol.

“On the physical level, it represents the ability to cook our food and light our homes in the dark-a technological advancement. On the spiritual level, this light is the potential for enlightenment, not only knowledge, but wisdom and understanding. In many cultures and religions, the quest for light in times of darkness is a central mythological theme, showing us the importance and power of light.

“In our modern metaphysical sense, light is information. Light is energy. In our holographic model of the universe, reality is a hologram, a construct of light and information perceived to be physical by our consciousness. Everything is affected by the power of light because everything is light. In the Hermetic principles, we learned that everything is a vibration. Light is the energy of vibration.

“Ultimately, everything, including matter, is a form of energy.”tumblr_m5cxe2Jk5Z1qbaihjo1_500


You, long my nemesis and hater of my soul.
You’ve chilled my days and frozen all my long night’s coal
in hours of stark terror and silent desperate screams
on razor blades I’ve laid my stricken threatened head
thanks to your dark malevolent deadly ways…


You poisoner of my rivers flowing pure and oh so sweet,
you making dry my innocent new merry bubbling spring
and striking terror in my tender childlike heart
with zombie screams so savage, oh so hungry shrill,
and yet so silent and so baleful still
you emanate such evil dread and blackness toward me
and I am melted in my soul aghast,


Long have I searched and sought an exit, for the way
that leads me from your cruel torture chambers dark
un-swaddles me from all your reeking death clothes stark
and dank and damp and dripping with death’s poisonous remark,
slowly I turn my shivering and jittery back on you
while terror talks and walks straight up my frigid spine
and every vertebrae recoils in mortal fear
you creep pernicious up my frame like poison vine
but I am resolute because I want to gain
my freedom from your bottomless black empty jailer eyes
and rows of terrible sharp executioner teeth
and so it’s me, at last, it’s me that does you right…


you horror,
you absolute


Remind me again how the patriarchy does not oppress women and children?

“message to all you privileged white american girls saying “we don’t need feminism” because you don’t “feel oppressed” here’s an example of why we DO still need feminism and a friendly reminder that the rest of the f**kn world exists too”


You can take this to the bank!

I miss you…I miss you so, in tears
I miss you with nerves frayed
nerves ‘fraid
and nerves numb
but never quiet

I miss you in rainbows and winds
and the stir of the leaves
amidst the plum blossoms
and wild cherry petals
streaming down
like the tears I cry
in my longing for your

When ‘Midst the Gay I Meet

When ‘midst the gay I meet
That gentle smile of thine,
Though still on me it turns most sweet,
I scarce can call it mine:

But when to me alone
Your secret tears you show,
Oh, then I feel those tears my own,
And claim them while they flow.

Then still with bright looks bless
The gay, the cold, the free;
Give smiles to those who love you less,
But keep your tears for me.

The snow on Jura’s steep
Can smile in many a beam,
Yet still in chains of coldness sleep,
How bright soe’er it seem.

But, when some deep-felt ray,
Whose touch is fire, appears,
Oh, then the smile is warm’d away,
And, melting, turns to tears.

Then still with bright looks bless
The gay, the cold, the free;
Give smiles to those who love you less,
But keep your tears for me.

Moore, Thomas (1779 – 1852)


Breathing Skin to Skin

Love comes from years
of breathing skin to skin
tangled in each other’s dreams
until each night weaves
another thread in the same
web of blood and sleep and I
have only passed through quickly like
light and you have only surrounded me
suddenly like flame

Thomas Moore (1779 – 1852)tumblr_neksycuDAt1qb3v7ho1_1280

That Monolithic Blue

yep…that’s it,
the monolith.
Hush! Shh, yeah,
I know I know
it’s beautiful,
yadda yadda yadda
cus blue and layers

it’s carved and worn
by wind and time
and it chips off
pieces of itself
that melt and feed

oceans, and then feed
cloud hopes, which become
streams, rivers, lakes
and again back
to become itself
once more
and monolithic blue
born anew.

but just stand
here, awhile with me,
where I am frozen
and caught in the glare
of its pressure and presence

and eventually
your face will grow numb
your toes will lose movement
and you will feel
the tempting tentative tickle
of its sinister frozen fingers

around your warm and tender
heart, so red,
so achingly red
and stark against
that monolithic blue.

Groundhog Day Forever

there is a movie where the main character
lives Groundhog Day over and over
and over and over
and he can do what he wants
while everyone else
does the same old thing.

I think it’s safe to call that experience
dysphoria, because I live
the same old day, the same old over
and I remember the day before
and the day before that one
while everyone thinks it’s just that day only.

Knowing something that no one else knows
and carrying that–what–what would that be called,
burden, responsibility, honor, freedom,
carrying that sentence in my bones and marrow
those bones of lead and marrow of molten lava
and my superheated flesh constantly evaporating.

But what if we are all living Groundhog Day?
What if everyday we wake up, it’s just the same
day done again, but we only believe it is different,
because well it is, and all our thoughts and opinions
are just so much shadow that chases the groundhog
back underground to hide from eternal winter?

Eventually the man runs the gamut of options
and is reduced to meaningless repetition over and over
until he actually considers oeuvre, and oeuvre
and then things change, because he himself is changed…
and that is what makes the difference, releases us
from Groundhog Day Forever.tumblr_n9s5lkaufr1sk87juo1_1280

What a Week for the Trans* Community

I am sitting here in tears…this Mother has poured out blessing to me, right here and now in ways she has no idea…by doing this, writing this.

What a special person. What a large heart.

Religious Reader (Not you, Constance)…you who hate that I call Holy Spirit “Mama”…you need to be sure to read this, because what this woman’s heart looks like is a microcosm of Mama’s.

Thank you, Rozgkeith…my heart bleeds happy thanks, for the world is a better place, my life is better…because of your love.

Call Him Hunter

WOW. It has been quite a week. For the past few months there have been many emails, texts and phone calls leading up to the event that occurred Tuesday evening at Temple Israel in West Bloomfield: Transgender Youth and Families, You are Not Alone.


When I was a little girl my mom always made BIG birthday parties. Every kid on the block was invited and she baked, planned games, bought party favors and served lunch…all at home. Of course there was a lot of anticipation leading up to the big day. From shopping for a new party dress to choosing the right hair accessories, birthday celebrations were a big deal. On the day of the party, I would get ready and wait. The waiting was agony. Looking out towards the front of the house from the vantage point of our entry way, I wondered if anyone would show up.

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