Mama I Need…

a word, just a wet sweet word
from Your lips Ruby and Red
with Redemption and Resurrection.

Mama I need
a touch, just a finger
upon my brow so thick,
so unfine and bony and ugly.

Mama I need
to hear You, near and dripping
in comfort and tender compassion

Mama, I need
to know if it even
matters or moves
anywhere that makes
a true lasting difference

Mama I need
a poem of purity
a verse that is pretty
a body that’s fit
and a being acceptable


6 Reasons Stone-Throwing Christians May Need To Retire “Go And Sin No More” | john pavlovitz

The stone throwers get no say. They do not get to step in between another human being and Jesus. They are allowed no delivering of condemnation, no administering of justice, no bringing of another to repentance. They are dismissed by Jesus.

He alone gets to tell the woman to ‘go and leave’. He alone gets to do that today, too. God speaks individually to people’s hearts. His Spirit convicts. What words He chooses to speak is not our business. Using this story as a guide, we only get to receive and to obey the direct command, to drop our stones and leave.

via 6 Reasons Stone-Throwing Christians May Need To Retire “Go And Sin No More” | john pavlovitz.

You get no say…Reader.

You get no say.  I don’t even know why you come round here.  Why you click on over to Grace Notes…to make yourself feel better?  To confirm your own goodness and righteousness?  To affirm your own cowardly choice to abandon decades of relationship…over gender crimes that exist no where but in the legal system you have fabricated in collusion with your flesh and your pride?

At least you were honest…when you said to me that you would be sure to let every person you encountered in on the fact that you disapproved of me, my choices, my course of action, and I am sure you have the evidence of Job’s Comforters to bolster your grip on the throne of judgment you clambered up on and plopped down.

Here is some feedback:  your words, your whispers, and your decided complete lack of loving action are having an effect…you are winning, and I think that soon I will just fade away into the black and trouble no one no more.

Way to go.  Way to not sully yourself.  Way to keep your garments clean…you know, the ones you cleaned in the first place with the towering, staggering vibrations of your oh so righteous deeds.  And me, just emblematic of how you treat anyone that is different than you in anyway.

*****     *****     *****     *****     *****

Constance…I am sorry about the words to Reader…Reader is addicted to Religion, and my friend John is a good emetic for the religious if they will but quaff those draughts.  I am overcome right now, with the relentless tide of othering, diminishing communication from everything around me that I am no longer of significance or worth…to family, friends, or strangers…arguments not withstanding, arguments by people who stand to lose something that I what…do?…am?

I don’t know…I am just so tired

I Am Overcome In Black

In great resistant insistent being
I came forth, losing everything
I thought was me and part of me
but was just chrysalis.

Quills from eternity, beyond here
pierce thru light and hope
and pierce thru me until
they touch me, mark me intricate.

I see the patterns of exquisite pain and mercy
I see the tracks of becoming’s travail
but it keeps on going, that black claiming
until everything is clothed in its homogenous grip.

and I am overcome in black
and without voice, without strength
without cheek or jowl beside mine
alone in the black and caught between stars