When I exploded into myself
from nothing
and knew
there was 

something
and
me

I heard something
wish that me 
would never be.

I didn’t get over it,
but I got used to it.

Somehow
that wish got its way
in my bones
and now it seems
like all I know

and all that I
am known by.

Sounds, scents, storms sent
from that beyond
rail and wash
in curtains over me,
scour and scrub me

because maybe,
just maybe
I can one day
be released
from the curse 
“shouldn’t have been”

and see
that self invisible
that everyone else
says is there
but just looks like
a naked emperor 

to me.