Monthly Archives: June 2015
Without You Adding To It
“It bugs me when people are unnecessarily mean. Like, you didn’t have to make that comment.
You could have just kept your mouth shut and left that person not feeling bad about themselves.
What do you gain from making someone else feel like shit? Nothing of substance.
Maybe a fleeting moment of power but that’s gone as soon as it comes so why?There’s enough unhappiness in the world without you adding to it.”
Burnt Offerings
These words are my offerings burnt
singed in fires of pain and hurt
written as gouts of bright blood spurt
from my contrite soul.
I take treasure from my heart
pleasures, pains, my every dart
burn them for a brand new start
the incense of my spirit.
I will rise, all clothed in red
from my tear-stained sodden bed
walk into dark woods instead
and scatter these lost dreams
to leave a path of grace behind
and light remaining there to find
a way thru hurt to Your Home kind
I sing a new song now.
From The Writings of King David
5 Things Cis People Can Actually Do For Trans People (Now That You Care About Us)
It’s been a weird year for trans people.
Allow me to be more specific: It’s been a heated, daring, tumultuous, graphic, specularizing, aggressive, pointed,contentious, highlyfatal, and really, really complicated year for trans people.
Here are a few examples: Kristina Gomez Reinwald, Ty Underwood, Lamia Beard, and many othertranswomen of color have been brutally murdered at the hands of lovers, family members, and strangers.Meanwhile,Laverne Cox and Janet Mock have come to fame and exhibited incrediblefeats of grace, articulation, and poignancy under the gaze ofan eager media. Blake Brockington, Leelah Alcorn, Taylor Alesana, and many other transgender youth have committed suicide afterenduring endless bullying and systematic brutality. Meanwhile, Jazz Jennings became the new face of Clean & Clear and published a children’s picture book about her life, and teen trans couple Arin Andrews and KatieHill (best known for “Can You Even Believe They’re Trans?!” types of headlines) wrote and published individual books…
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(Combatting) Gender Dysphoria
My friend Roz nails it!!
It’s hard to imagine hating my body so much that I’d want to remove parts of it – permanently. Many of us have had those “oh god” moments in the dressing room with bad lighting that makes a super model question what she’s been eating. If we nit-pick we can always find something to change, improve or tacitly accept as the reality of genetics.
However, unless you identify as a gender other than what you were assigned at birth (AFAB, AMAB) it is probably impossible to truly empathize with a trans* person who HATES their body. I mean, someone who says, “I DON’T WANT BOOBS AND A VAGINA.” Or, a child who exclaims, “I can’t wait to grow up and have a penis.” I have read various stories about transgender children who do believe that when they grow up they will grow parts that they don’t currently have.
I am…
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Some Older Poems
Constance, I am working on a poem right now that is soo luscious and really just sorta pouring outta me…I am not trying to stopper the flow or even shape it right now. It is just the gushing and bubbling up of deep things, layered in verigation and heavy with inference.
It will be in the future sometime when I am in the right space to begin sculpting, shaping, nudging things here and there…
So here are some poems from the past, in the meantime.
Ghosts
This poem is about a ton of things, and finds particular application to those who cast away on a foolish journey of thought and belief, or lack thereof…those who follow the siren calls of narcissism and nihilism so rampant in our world.
The Golden End
The irony (kind irony: is that “kirony?”)…the Kind Irony of this poem is that the Golden End is just the beginning…
Sail With Me?
What are your boats? “Empty yet not abandoned”?
Mama’s Clothes
The very cry of my heart, my soul, my all.
So…I am learning to dance on waves, walk on water. I have discovered my wings, and they are large…
Will you join me? The surface is as solid as what you look at…
Mama With Me, Near Today
Constance…
How I wish that you could know…know…the Love of God…the Presence of Them in your core essence.
God has been so polluted and trashed by the low things that oppose Them. God has been so misrepresented by complete morons who spin out of their corrupted souls a god made in their own image, and it is ugly, it is gross, it is cruel and it is crude…and most of all it is blind, dumb, and deaf, just like them.
God is Humble. They pounce thru every single crack in human perception that shows the least openness to Them, and They shine…oh how They shine.
They have loved me.
And that is a wonder that breaks me open again and again and again and again and…
Holy Spirit of God…Holy Spirit is Their Presence here in this creation. Jesus has ascended and is in heaven in this time and making all things ready. So Their presence is Holy Spirit…and oh the honor of Her drawing me near Her, opening the Word to me to see Her…
She is like one of my poems…layers, hints, indirection, inference, and sometimes subtle in its baldfaced straightforwardness…this is Her.
And She is altogether good, and I love Her.
***** ***** ***** ***** *****
Reader: I will never not love Her.
Never.
Your statements and judgments of Her are dust and lower than irrelevance.
Why do you fulminate and foam at the mouth because I love Her? If indeed She was just a myth, why would you even care? I love Her, and it is to Her that I have surrendered, and willingly laid down control.
Does It Matter?

So I used to wonder about this…will I be missed. Does what I do make a difference in the world. Do I matter.
But Purposive Grace…remember that?
Now, when I read things like this graphic above, I know that it really doesn’t matter if I am missed or not, if what I do makes a difference in the world.
I am living with my purpose for being…and that makes every difference in the world!
This world doesn’t happen to me. No…I happen to it!
If you are reading this, struggling with depression and despair, consider the things I write of in Purposive Grace…
…and join the ‘Rissa Roo Party! Woo HOO!!
In Charissa’s Kitchen June 8th 2015
Thank you!
Dear Cassandra…
Your kindness and acceptance has been Eternal Gold to me.
You wear your heart on your sleeve…definitely a Woman after my own heart, and I have learned so much from you as I watch how you negotiate the space of being an older child with so many young ones, the eldest sister of three pretty powerful girls, and your own seething yearning heart that longs so for that…beyond.
May you ever be blessed with clear vision, and the courage to let your muse sing at the top of her ever-livin’ lungs!
Much Love!!!
Ms Charissa
Cassandra #7
Beasty
Long pointy
tail
with venom
at the
tip
To hunt or protect
from the back
Beware!

(I couldn’t help but imagine she was hearkening back to the animals that harrassed me!)
Cassandra #6
There once was
a
sad
giraffe
who hadn’t smiled
since
he
was
a
calf.
But one day
a
Bunny
said a joke
quite
funny,
So he finally
laughed
a good
laugh

(I love the vertical Giraffy layout!)
Cassandra #5
Cassandra #4
Nothing’s faster than a
cheetah.
in a test it’d surely beat ya’,
as hard as you’d try
to make your feet
fly
by the end of the
run it’d eat
velveeta!

Cassandra #3
Cassandra #2
Cassandra #1
“Your Best Friend”
I rolled into work early, comme toujours, and bustled down to the kitchbah to get things prepared for the day. There were ranges to light, ovens to turn on, dishwashers to prep, and food to coax.
*You realize that…don’t you? You must coax food to “join the party”…usually with letting it warm a bit, and then liberal application of olive oil if it is something that must come together.*
What do you know, when I got there, and spied on the counter an 8 1/2 x 11 sized package, wrapped in light yellow tissue paper and green yarn holding it together. On top of it was a folded piece of paper…
“Only for Mrs. Charissa
🙂
Your Best Friend”
The paper had been drawn on to make it appear as if it were an envelope…it was soo touching and adorable, and from the handwriting, I was certain it was from one of the children that I help care for.
Have you ever had the experience of finding out unexpectedly that someone considers them self “your best friend”? I have not…until that day. (No…DDH, when I discovered that you considered yourself my bestie, it was delightful beyond belief but not unexpected! lol)
Inside the folded paper (special stationary type paper) it was laid out like an email with a “to” section and a “from” section.
It was from “Cassandra” (name changed to protect my angel lil friend’s privacy)…this young lady is one of the most amazing people I have ever had the good fortune to encounter in my entire life…and she has 2 sisters who are equally amazing, accepting, friendly and loving. Her youngest sister was the bold child on my first day at the center when I was doing my “try-out” classroom test…she walked straight up to me, her dark eyes like limitless pools, and so solemnly asked me if I was a boy or a girl…I told her I was like an oreo cookie: one thing on the outside, something different on the inside, and all together I was me, and sweet. She thought about it, smiled, and nodded. I then simply explained to her what happened to me as I was created, and the insight and look of knowing that happened in those eyes was an eternal gift.
Since then she has been one of my biggest fans.
But Cassandra…well, she also was kind, caught on right away, but she hung around a bit, listening, watching, feeling the experiences I have everyday in living. She paid attention to my true heart, and not the things I spin outta my kitchbah to feed the kids. She is the one who was walking beside me, talking, on the way into the center from the bus parking lot…and these people who live across the street decided to verbally and loudly tell me what I was, in the lowest and most crude slang imaginable.
I ignored it, like always…sigh…and just kept talking with Cassandra, but her face went white, and still. Her eyes widened in shock, horror, and then…something else: she realized that this was my life. Every day. Just because I am…and she began to cry. She was horrified at what was said, and I think even mildly traumatized, so we of course talked a bit about it.
It was a true teachable moment on the meaning of forgiveness and a lifestyle of Grace.
So anyway, Cassandra had written this:
I now you will
like this. I Made
some Pritty Good
ones for you
I was Thinking of You at
school
🙂
Can you say *Instant melty heart exiting eyes PDQ*???
Okay, first of all…she knew. She knew I would like it, a priori. Let that sink in.
Secondly, she judged her own work, and decided it was pretty good (it is, btw), and that it was for me.
And then…the killer love words: I was thinking of you at school.
When it was time to create, her thoughts turned to me…
Rapture. Pure. Rapture.
The next several poems are hers…I am placing them here on Grace Notes as my own weak ineffectual attempt to show I am thankful and grateful for her love and affection…and her friendship. 
Funny? No
A Quote:
Why I don’t think it’s funny when men make jokes about that their lives are over once they’re married:
-No man is forced to get married. But thousands of girls and women are forced to marry someone they don’t love or even know every year.
-There are thousands of couples all over the world who would give everything to be allowed to marry the person they love.
Love Not The World, Nor The Things of The World
Wetting Whistles At Brunch
She raised her voice and read:
“In the bottom
of a large pitcher,
muddle togetherginger,
mint leaves
and lime wheelswith vodka.
Pour a bottle
of prosecco
into the pitcher
and fill with ice.Serve cold.”
I smiled and said:
“That sounds
devilishly simple!”
Selflessness
I Was Horrified…
…by the movie “Donnie Darko.”
That you liked it so much mystified me, and it was the first inkling that we lived two different lives, in 2 different realities.
Run Where?
Where can you run from the truth?
Think I will stand firm…and call.
Yes…I call.

To My Heart’s Four Chambers
Worth Sleeplessness
Knowledge Trees
This, BUT:
Wisdom trees, Ah…
they spring up eternal
from ruined hearts
redeemed, and planted
in the Tree of Life
OH! God, This Is ME!
On Caitlyn Jenner, and Pastoring a Transgender Person | MaryAnn McKibben Dana
On Caitlyn Jenner, and Pastoring a Transgender Person | MaryAnn McKibben Dana.
This…
Yes, it just barely scratches the surface, but that light scratch is better than the raging itch of pastoral indifference and hostility that inflicts christendom at large.
Mountains Into Oceans
Okay, so I need you to know this…you who love and support me but do not really know the deets of my story (yet…there are a few that I am very much warming up to the idea of spending a few hrs with and investing some of my heart in you via the history of the miles of pain I chewed to get to the shores of the seas of grace)
…but you who are casual, connected but mostly interested in arms’ length friendly connection (which is cool and valuable)…
PLEASE don’t ask me about Caitlyn Jenner…
While she is likely the source of most of what you know about trans things right now? She has NOTHING to do with me in any way other than we know the same dark night of the soul.
Her money, fame, position, power and privilege put her in a completely different UNIVERSE than I am in, really.
She is not my hero, my idol…she is not the can opener that I would use to connect with anyone about transgender existence and acceptance…she may become a great influence and dispenser of many good things for the transgender community, an activist of Mother Teresa stature…but likely not, for the gravity of celebrity is nearly always fatal and bright is the flame of those stars who fall into the atmosphere of the dust to which we return and auger into the final lonely resting place of the grave which we must pass into and thru.
The challenges, obstacles and burdens of being transgender are but molehills for her in so many ways…she literally was able to walk down the street, check into the finest hospital, hire the best surgeons, and get her confirmation surgeries…
Just as a rich person can take their infant born with a cleft palate or congenital heart defect and get it repaired, like that…she could get her body repaired and aligned.
The vast VAST majority of us? We not only cannot do that, we are denied even ACCESS to the means to do that via healthcare! We are told that the surgeries are decorative, vanity indulgences…we are classified with aging starlets who have their faces lifted and their tummies tucked so they can make more cheesy movies when the fact is these surgeries help the blood of our souls circulate thru the heart and core of our lives for the good of many!
I am not impressed with you when you sidle up and show me how much an ally you are by telling me so smugly that you watched the Jenner interview…and I am not going to pat you on the back and fawn at your feet like a dog grateful for a doggy treat!! I would much MUCH rather hear that you were moved by the Jenner interview to go to the Portland LGTBQ center and volunteer your time and give of your resources to help transgender people who have less than nothing…
I would much rather hear that you are resolved to read Julia Serrano’s book, or Joy Ladin’s book, or Jennifer Finlay Boyle’s book, or Janet Mock’s book.
You are sort of like that person in the 60s civil rights movement who would boast of having a “black friend”…while living in racist ways that you simply think are the way life is…
LISTEN TO ME: Come to the Pride walk June 13th, if you are truly moved, rather than watch an interview or buy a magazine.
I am pleading with you…I am challenging you…I dare you…if you are the ally you claim to be.
LOOK AT US!! SEE US!! We no more look like Caitlyn Jenner than you look like Jennifer Aniston! We do not expect you to look like a Playboy bunny (ugh!), and yet you constantly say things like “Oh you are looking so girly today” or “I only see a woman when I see you” or “Gee you will be so feminine when you get your adam’s apple shaved (mine is NOT even prominent!!!), or “You know there is a surgery you can have to deal with your hairline”…
…and I won’t even go into the so-called jokes that are just flat out cis-normative sexually harrassing…
See, this is a moment in history…one of THOSE MOMENTS…when a pivotal person has galvanized the day and time is pregnant and elastic and can be IMPRESSED BY COMMITTED ACTION BY THOSE WITH POWER…
…and that is you, my cis-gender, cis-normative friends..yeah. It’s you. You are the ones who have voices, standing, visibility…you are the ones who can speak and demand for me the same access you have…
Don’t waste your energy with patting yourself on the back and handing out good doggie treats to me for being your token transgrl friend.
I am Charissa Grace…I am a yielded vessel yielding blessing…I am a daughter of the most High King and beloved of Holy Spirit my Great Mama…
I am a woman…hear my joy roar in the darkness!!
But I am not validated, just because Caitlyn Jenner is exalted in this moment by the media. God has brought her high, for Their plan, and it is between her and Them how she manages the moment.
I am validated because I am a Promise of God…come walk with me.
Apologies, Real and Otherwise
Have you ever had someone give you a “faux-apology”? You know the ones…
Here is a lil list:
1. Any apology that says “I am sorry that you…”
Um, no. You do not get to be sorry for anything “me”…you are either sorry for something “you”, or you are not sorry. Don’t hide behind the words “I’m Sorry” to issue another attempt at policing me in some form or fashion.
2. Any apology that starts out with “I’m sorry if…”
Naawww…nope. Nada. Not going there, doesn’t work, and you cannot say that to me. You are not sorry nor do you have cognizance of what you did. You just know that I am hurt and want me to stop being so in order for you to feel good about yourself again.
3. Any apology for lack of clarity over what was said when the true offense was the actual saying in the first place. If someone says something hurtful, and then apologizes because they were not more clear in how they said whatever hurt they said? No…not. Not an apology.
4. Any apology that contains some sort of implication that they are sorry they were not more available so you could approach them and repent to them. Um…yeah, no.
Here is how you do it.
“Dear One…what I said, what I did, what I thought (fill in the blank) in that it broke our relationship (or damaged it or harmed it) was wrong (inappropriate, hurtful, immoral, etc). I have wronged you and hurt you, and I can clearly see that I bear responsibility in this.
“I am so sorry.
“These words carry no power in and of themselves until I fill them with life as I demonstrate true remorse by living (speaking, thinking, acting) differently from now on, and treating every other person I meet differently as a result of this.
“You are free to act as you feel the need, and it is my hope that someday I will have opportunity to work together with you to rebuild things (trust, fidelity, integrity, understanding, etc). But I do realize this is not mine to demand, but yours to give as you choose.
“I deserve no props or cudos for this, and God deliver me from getting what I deserve.
“My heart is hurting at my failure in this, and I will let this pain make me a better person, and the doors will be open to you if you choose to offer me forgiveness and grace. Until that time, I remain committed to change and to you.”
Now…I wrote out a bunch of words, to convey the attitude of an apology that does not obligate or demand.
It is of course a two way street. Rare are the relational ruptures that do not involve wrong on each side.
But you are not about pointing out to someone else how they hurt you if you are there to apologise to them, now are you? You are there because you see that you failed and fell short…right?
No? Hmmm…better go review the numbers up at the top of the post!
The Greater Danger
Constance, in this ego-centric, ego-driven culture of ours we are constantly exhorted and affirmed for avoiding any people who are costly to us, disturbing to our comfort, or in any way disrupt our “perfect life” which will be immediately great as soon as we get rid of anyone who does not contribute value to us.
Omg.
And who would befriend you, should this be applied rigorously?
So…the truth is that yes, we do need to be shrewd who we allow full heart access, and yet somehow we must remain accessible! So there is a greater danger than merely having a toxic person in proximity to you…
…and that is the danger of NOT being the broken bread and poured wine into the hearts and souls of those suffering and for whom you were appointed as meat and drink.
Queen Ester of Old was told: For such a time as this were you born.
Be mindful of others, and your responsibility to them, even as you practice the saying below. After all, it is because your space is sacred that you must
Be careful whom you exclude

Stuck in the middle again…(rant alert) | Charissa’s Grace Notes
Blast From The Past
This is for new friends, and serves as a key of sorts to my poetic ledgermain, or a glossary to my poetic language and misdirection. Remember, if you want to know…what I think, feel, who I am…you can, but you do not get to just go to the McDonalds of relationship and place an order and expect fast food to be schlepped out to you.
Oh no.
It is far more like going to the Farmer’s market with a previously made dish in hand…and nibbling a bit and thinking about what you taste, and then tentatively beginning to gather vegetables and herbs that match what you taste…or even taste complementary.
Then you bring them home and make the dish.
Here is the fun stuff: if you are paying attention, then you will begin to have that “AHA” flash of insight earlier and earlier…you will realize, for instance, in the poem This Shocking Interruption that I draw a parallel between Simon of Cyrene, a black man who was waylaid and forced to carry the cross of Christ on Good Friday the first and transgender people who are waylaid and forced to carry a gender cross and be crucified for the pride and passion of the Patriarchy…
…it will be evident immediately.
If you are not paying attention, or understanding the flow of the posts and the intentionality of Grace Notes from day to day and month to month, well, you will scratch your head a bit, and likely admire a few lines or stanzas that really stood out, and the smack your lips thinking yummerly and move on to the next tidbit for consumption.
Poetry is a bit more than that…it is more Jack and the Beanstalk than The Old Woman Who Swallowed a Fly.
I hope you enjoy the older works, and they are there for the perusing.
HINT: if it takes forever to get to the back of the blog, please note there is a calendar at the foot of the blog that is hyperlinked to month and day…and a Poetry Link at the top in the Header…
Blessings to you, Constance, and nods over to you Reader…still there lurking, looking for things to judge with the eyes of Pilate and touching these posts with hands washed of the mess.
A Couple Of Older Favorite Poems
To Seek Humility Is To Seek Light
You Speak Like Snakes (You Know Who You Are)
you speak like snakes
slithering faster than slinkies
which at least have to
go downhill
and stop .
how can I love you
and dodge all at once
when you strike tooth and nail
with your sexual puns
and demeaning poisonous
passive-aggressive
nuclear blitzes?
you always move,
always, you shed your skin
quicker than snakes
that slide sideways
over the dirty sands
under the prickly sage
out of sight, gone before
I can quick turn the page.
It’s not okay
to speak jokes that conceal
a knife slicing with malice
and using my flesh to build
your kingdom’s palace!
It’s not okay to rape
my heart on your platter
letting my blood spatter
on your face for your cosmetics
and war paint bravado.
Heart-on or hard-on
and then you say
I’m up and down??
No…
you speak like snakes
you speak like snakes
you speak like snakes
hissing and deadly.
…But No Eyes Ever Saw Me
**CORRECTION** Mama just touched my heart, and whispered “My eyes saw, Baby…My eyes always saw you. And I see you always, Apple of My Eye” *Charissa cries in release of loneliness*
Under
The trail bent left
and then came right
under the rain that fell
under the clouds that hugged
under the sky so blue
under the sun that shone
under the dark of space
under the Rose and the Throne.
I looked up
and I saw what I heard
under the birds that sang
under the trees that played
under the wind that kissed
under the scent of Grace
under the Joy like lace.
The water fall
fell to the rocks
there below the spray
under the water cool
under the sparkly jewels
under the rainbow hung
under the peaceful hum.
I had to kiss
that Stone that sang
under the falls that hang
under the chasms vast
under my lonely past
under Their Eyes True and Kind
under Their Glory Shine.
So I waded in
under the shocking flow
under waters I go
kissing the stone so true
under my thoughts of you
under my thoughts of you
always…my thoughts of you
under.

What Prints Does YOUR Heart Leave?
This asks us to do this…but it is a bit incomplete! It should read this way:
“Everywhere you go, you leave your heart print. Be sure the marks are kind.”

Above The Carnival Below
Under this full moon I am crashing
thru clouds of popcorn kernels
shedding their hard shells
and giving up their ghosts in gasps
of heated pleasure and anguish.
I am splashing into pools of people
faces upturned, hands upraised
giving up the ghosts of burdens
long ago swallowed and peaking now
in the heat and the oil of these times
and the cotton candy I ate tastes pink
and blue and orange and tells me
it is really Skittles in my heart
(I know the truth as I fall
down in a rush amidst the screamers
and the ecstasy of a ride certain and sure
in their hearts and minds but oh so
frightening and uncertain to me).
But this moon is full, and true
and makes room for me to rise
up up up faster than gravity
and flush with glory into the night
that hugs the earth like a fierce maiden aunt.
And I am learning to let go and enjoy
the ride under this full moon and high
above the carnival below.

The Transgender Brain | Transas City
The Transgender Brain | Transas City.
Constance, another article that helps explain the reality of transgender brain formation and how this determines gender orientation.
This will be preaching to the choir, but likely might be helpful to those still uneducated that this is something quite different than “living my truth” or any other characterization that seeks to make my gender orientation some version of a choice.
Perhaps you all could pass it on in your own attempts to be allies.
Reader, it’s up to you…you are proud of judging non-christians for ignoring the evidence for Christ…pot meet kettle, if you continue to characterize gender variance as anything other than what it is: a reality that is as legitimate as your own “owned internal sense of gender”.
It’s a bit like being proud you are not a cleft palate born person, and then trying to deny treatment to anyone who was born that way.
I Hate Texting
It is soo awkward for me, in the first place, given the arthritic conditions I deal with. I have learned to type with about three fingers and my thumb, and I am PDQ typing.
But texting…trying to mash those places while simultaneously holding the dang phone is suuuch a pain!
But what I hate most is how people use texting to avoid personally interacting.
Hey, it’s not me…it’s you.

#Transgender – #CaitlynJenner VS the Realities of Transition | Tamlyn Mac – The Writer’s Transition
Caitlyn’s anguish at her gender identity is certainly not in dispute, and the challenges she has faced are massive, but they are not representative of most Transgender people. I am concerned that people’s understanding of gender transition will be influenced by Caitlyn’s narrative, and that she may become the standard to which other Transpeople are held. For all the emotional turmoil and inner conflict over her life, once her decision to transition was made, the journey was straightforward and accessible to her. For the rest of us, the decision is the start of a years long Journey in full view of everyone without the partitions of camera lenses or security gates.
via #Transgender – #CaitlynJenner VS the Realities of Transition | Tamlyn Mac – The Writer’s Transition.
Constance, this says it very well why I will not be following the Jenner transition story…it is not relatable to me, really, and if anything will dramatically influence the way that the vast majority of people who are not transgender view transition.
I am soo happy for her, really! She made it! She didn’t kill herself.
And I will be knowing next to nothing about what she does, so don’t even bother asking me what I think of this or that, cus I will likely be ignorant.
Personality Types
There are many ways of looking at personality type…I sort of like the Jungian approach, also known as Humanmetrics Jung Typology Test™
Humanmetrics Jung Typology Test™
I think personality is far more complex than these types, but they do serve as ready tools to help you recognize certain compass points, and perhaps not end up in that particular wilderness to which you are susceptible to being lost in.
This is my type: Introvert, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging (oh and btw: if you think Charissa Grace is an extrovert, you are floating on the surface admiring the amazing iceberg that is glistening in the sun against that crystal blue sky.



INFJ Description by Marina Margaret Heiss and Joe Butt
INFJs are distinguished by both their complexity of character and the unusual range and depth of their talents. Strongly humanitarian in outlook, INFJs tend to be idealists, and because of their J preference for closure and completion, they are generally “doers” as well as dreamers. This rare combination of vision and practicality often results in INFJs taking a disproportionate amount of responsibility in the various causes to which so many of them seem to be drawn.
INFJs are deeply concerned about their relations with individuals as well as the state of humanity at large. They are, in fact, sometimes mistaken for extroverts because they appear so outgoing and are so genuinely interested in people — a product of the Feeling function they most readily show to the world.
On the contrary, INFJs are true introverts, who can only be emotionally intimate and fulfilled with a chosen few from among their long-term friends, family, or obvious “soul mates.” While instinctively courting the personal and organizational demands continually made upon them by others, at intervals INFJs will suddenly withdraw into themselves, sometimes shutting out even their intimates.
This apparent paradox is a necessary escape valve for them, providing both time to rebuild their depleted resources and a filter to prevent the emotional overload to which they are so susceptible as inherent “givers.” As a pattern of behavior, it is perhaps the most confusing aspect of the enigmatic INFJ character to outsiders, and hence the most often misunderstood — particularly by those who have little experience with this rare type.
Due in part to the unique perspective produced by this alternation between detachment and involvement in the lives of the people around them, INFJs may well have the clearest insights of all the types into the motivations of others, for good and for evil. The most important contributing factor to this uncanny gift, however, are the empathic abilities often found in Fs, which seem to be especially heightened in the INFJ type (possibly by the dominance of the introverted N function).
This empathy can serve as a classic example of the two-edged nature of certain INFJ talents, as it can be strong enough to cause discomfort or pain in negative or stressful situations. More explicit inner conflicts are also not uncommon in INFJs; it is possible to speculate that the causes for some of these may lie in the specific combinations of preferences which define this complex type. For instance, there can sometimes be a “tug-of-war” between NF vision and idealism and the J practicality that urges compromise for the sake of achieving the highest priority goals. And the I and J combination, while perhaps enhancing self-awareness, may make it difficult for INFJs to articulate their deepest and most convoluted feelings.
Usually self-expression comes more easily to INFJs on paper, as they tend to have strong writing skills. Since in addition they often possess a strong personal charisma, INFJs are generally well-suited to the “inspirational” professions such as teaching (especially in higher education) and religious leadership. Psychology and counseling are other obvious choices, but overall, INFJs can be exceptionally difficult to pigeonhole by their career paths.
Perhaps the best example of this occurs in the technical fields. Many INFJs perceive themselves at a disadvantage when dealing with the mystique and formality of “hard logic”, and in academic terms this may cause a tendency to gravitate towards the liberal arts rather than the sciences. However, the significant minority of INFJs who do pursue studies and careers in the latter areas tend to be as successful as their T counterparts, as it is *iNtuition* — the dominant function for the INFJ type — which governs the ability to understand abstract theory and implement it creatively.
In their own way, INFJs are just as much “systems builders” as are INTJs; the difference lies in that most INFJ “systems” are founded on human beings and human values, rather than information and technology. Their systems may for these reasons be conceptually “blurrier” than analogous NT ones, harder to measure in strict numerical terms, and easier to take for granted — yet it is these same underlying reasons which make the resulting contributions to society so vital and profound.
Beneath the quiet exterior, INFJs hold deep convictions about the weightier matters of life. Those who are activists – INFJs gravitate toward such a role – are there for the cause, not for personal glory or political power.
INFJs are champions of the oppressed and downtrodden. They often are found in the wake of an emergency, rescuing those who are in acute distress. INFJs may fantasize about getting revenge on those who victimize the defenseless. The concept of ‘poetic justice’ is appealing to the INFJ.
“There’s something rotten in Denmark.” Accurately suspicious about others’ motives, INFJs are not easily led. These are the people that you can rarely fool any of the time. Though affable and sympathetic to most, INFJs are selective about their friends. Such a friendship is a symbiotic bond that transcends mere words.
INFJs have a knack for fluency in language and facility in communication. In addition, nonverbal sensitivity enables the INFJ to know and be known by others intimately.
Writing, counseling, public service and even politics are areas where INFJs frequently find their niche.
(INFJ stands for Introvert, iNtuitive, Feeling, Judging and represents individual’s preferences in four dimensions characterising personality type, according to Jung’s and Briggs Myers’ theories of personality type.)
Functional Analysis Of The INFJ
Based on Jung’s framework of mental functions – by Joe Butt
Introverted iNtuition
Introverted intuitives, INFJs enjoy a greater clarity of perception of inner, unconscious processes than all but their INTJ cousins. Just as SP types commune with the object and “live in the here and now” of the physical world, INFJs readily grasp the hidden psychological stimuli behind the more observable dynamics of behavior and affect. Their amazing ability to deduce the inner workings of the mind, will and emotions of others gives INFJs their reputation as prophets and seers. Unlike the confining, routinizing nature of introverted sensing, introverted intuition frees this type to act insightfully and spontaneously as unique solutions arise on an event by event basis.
Extraverted Feeling
Extraverted feeling, the auxiliary deciding function, expresses a range of emotion and opinions of, for and about people. INFJs, like many other FJ types, find themselves caught between the desire to express their wealth of feelings and moral conclusions about the actions and attitudes of others, and the awareness of the consequences of unbridled candor. Some vent the attending emotions in private, to trusted allies. Such confidants are chosen with care, for INFJs are well aware of the treachery that can reside in the hearts of mortals. This particular combination of introverted intuition and extraverted feeling provides INFJs with the raw material from which perceptive counselors are shaped.
Introverted Thinking
The INFJ’s thinking is introverted, turned toward the subject. Perhaps it is when the INFJ’s thinking function is operative that they are most aloof. A comrade might surmise that such detachment signals a disillusionment, that she has also been found lacking by the sardonic eye of this one who plumbs the depths of the human spirit. Experience suggests that such distancing is merely an indication that the seer is hard at work and focusing energy into this less efficient tertiary function.
Extraverted Sensing
INFJs are twice blessed with clarity of vision, both internal and external. Just as they possess inner vision which is drawn to the forms of the unconscious, they also have external sensing perception which readily takes hold of worldly objects. Sensing, however, is the weakest of the INFJ’s arsenal and the most vulnerable. INFJs, like their fellow intuitives, may be so absorbed in intuitive perceiving that they become oblivious to physical reality. The INFJ under stress may fall prey to various forms of immediate gratification. Awareness of extraverted sensing is probably the source of the “SP wannabe” side of INFJs. Many yearn to live spontaneously; it’s not uncommon for INFJ actors to take on an SP (often ESTP) role.
Famous INFJs by Joe Butt
Nathan, prophet of Israel
Aristophanes
Chaucer
Goethe
Robert Burns, Scottish poet
U.S.Presidents:
Martin Van Buren
James Earl “Jimmy” Carter
Nathaniel Hawthorne
Fanny Crosby, (blind) hymnist
Mother Teresa of Calcutta
Fred McMurray (My Three Sons)
Shirley Temple Black, child actor, ambassador
Martin Luther King, Jr., civil rights leader, martyr
James Reston, newspaper reporter
Shirley MacLaine (Sweet Charity, …)
Piers Anthony, author (“Xanth” series)
Michael Landon (Little House on the Prairie)
Tom Selleck
John Katz, critic, author
Paul Stookey (Peter, Paul and Mary)
U.S.Senator Carol Moseley-Braun (D-IL)
Billy Crystal
Garry Trudeau (Doonesbury)
Nelson Mandela
Mel Gibson
Carrie Fisher
Nicole Kidman
Jerry Seinfeld
Jamie Foxx
Sela Ward
Mark Harmon
Gary Dourdan
Marg Helgaberger
Evangeline Lilly
Tori May
























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