One More Old One

This was very early on…I had internally chosen transition, but I was waiting.  I wanted to interact with family members and discover what response if any may result from the news of my gender journey.

At the end of that year those discussions occurred and support/affirmation was given, so I embarked on the journey.

Since then much has changed…

I doubt that I would have gone forward had I known then what I know now.

But then again, that’s why God set up time the way it is.  Because the truth?  In spite of the horror words spoken and the ineffable sadness of those words that used to be spoken not being spoken now, I am better off for the transition.

Fascist Architecture and all that.

It’s hard to know if all the things presented in evidence against me now were there all along and just hidden…or if they are the after-the-fact distortions of individuals who are deep in major cognitive dissonance now…certainly I feel like the email/artifact record presents a dramatically different story…I lived a dramatically different story!

No matter…it is what it is now, and those things are held as axiomatic and reality.

Anyway…this poem was at the very beginning…such naivety, such anticipation!

Present In The Vanishing


I Prefer Cats

long letters, diatribes, litanies…
…i prefer cats.

short notes/band aids for skin deep cover…
…i prefer cats.
tumblr_nq9qodpgPR1qat5pio1_400silences/absences or being on to-do lists…
…i prefer cats.tumblr_nq0mniFO1C1qfzzyto2_1280decisions made/enforced and handed down hard…
…i prefer cats.tumblr_npsmhdYGiK1qefrmxo1_1280soft.
minds of their own.
love hidden in kitty paws
and Mama purrs
and rough comfort tongues.

I prefer cats