“I have waited
my whole life
Do Justice. Love Mercy. Walk Humbly.
Wisdom trees, Ah…
they spring up eternal
from ruined hearts
redeemed, and planted
in the Tree of Life
On Caitlyn Jenner, and Pastoring a Transgender Person | MaryAnn McKibben Dana.
Yes, it just barely scratches the surface, but that light scratch is better than the raging itch of pastoral indifference and hostility that inflicts christendom at large.
Okay, so I need you to know this…you who love and support me but do not really know the deets of my story (yet…there are a few that I am very much warming up to the idea of spending a few hrs with and investing some of my heart in you via the history of the miles of pain I chewed to get to the shores of the seas of grace)
…but you who are casual, connected but mostly interested in arms’ length friendly connection (which is cool and valuable)…
PLEASE don’t ask me about Caitlyn Jenner…
While she is likely the source of most of what you know about trans things right now? She has NOTHING to do with me in any way other than we know the same dark night of the soul.
Her money, fame, position, power and privilege put her in a completely different UNIVERSE than I am in, really.
She is not my hero, my idol…she is not the can opener that I would use to connect with anyone about transgender existence and acceptance…she may become a great influence and dispenser of many good things for the transgender community, an activist of Mother Teresa stature…but likely not, for the gravity of celebrity is nearly always fatal and bright is the flame of those stars who fall into the atmosphere of the dust to which we return and auger into the final lonely resting place of the grave which we must pass into and thru.
The challenges, obstacles and burdens of being transgender are but molehills for her in so many ways…she literally was able to walk down the street, check into the finest hospital, hire the best surgeons, and get her confirmation surgeries…
Just as a rich person can take their infant born with a cleft palate or congenital heart defect and get it repaired, like that…she could get her body repaired and aligned.
The vast VAST majority of us? We not only cannot do that, we are denied even ACCESS to the means to do that via healthcare! We are told that the surgeries are decorative, vanity indulgences…we are classified with aging starlets who have their faces lifted and their tummies tucked so they can make more cheesy movies when the fact is these surgeries help the blood of our souls circulate thru the heart and core of our lives for the good of many!
I am not impressed with you when you sidle up and show me how much an ally you are by telling me so smugly that you watched the Jenner interview…and I am not going to pat you on the back and fawn at your feet like a dog grateful for a doggy treat!! I would much MUCH rather hear that you were moved by the Jenner interview to go to the Portland LGTBQ center and volunteer your time and give of your resources to help transgender people who have less than nothing…
I would much rather hear that you are resolved to read Julia Serrano’s book, or Joy Ladin’s book, or Jennifer Finlay Boyle’s book, or Janet Mock’s book.
You are sort of like that person in the 60s civil rights movement who would boast of having a “black friend”…while living in racist ways that you simply think are the way life is…
LISTEN TO ME: Come to the Pride walk June 13th, if you are truly moved, rather than watch an interview or buy a magazine.
I am pleading with you…I am challenging you…I dare you…if you are the ally you claim to be.
LOOK AT US!! SEE US!! We no more look like Caitlyn Jenner than you look like Jennifer Aniston! We do not expect you to look like a Playboy bunny (ugh!), and yet you constantly say things like “Oh you are looking so girly today” or “I only see a woman when I see you” or “Gee you will be so feminine when you get your adam’s apple shaved (mine is NOT even prominent!!!), or “You know there is a surgery you can have to deal with your hairline”…
…and I won’t even go into the so-called jokes that are just flat out cis-normative sexually harrassing…
See, this is a moment in history…one of THOSE MOMENTS…when a pivotal person has galvanized the day and time is pregnant and elastic and can be IMPRESSED BY COMMITTED ACTION BY THOSE WITH POWER…
…and that is you, my cis-gender, cis-normative friends..yeah. It’s you. You are the ones who have voices, standing, visibility…you are the ones who can speak and demand for me the same access you have…
Don’t waste your energy with patting yourself on the back and handing out good doggie treats to me for being your token transgrl friend.
I am Charissa Grace…I am a yielded vessel yielding blessing…I am a daughter of the most High King and beloved of Holy Spirit my Great Mama…
I am a woman…hear my joy roar in the darkness!!
But I am not validated, just because Caitlyn Jenner is exalted in this moment by the media. God has brought her high, for Their plan, and it is between her and Them how she manages the moment.
I am validated because I am a Promise of God…come walk with me.
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