“When you’re a trans woman, you are made to walk this very fine line, where if you act feminine you are accused of being a parody, but if you act masculine, it is seen as a sign of your true male identity. And if you act sweet and demure, you’re accused of reinforcing patriarchal ideals of female passivity, but if you stand up for your own rights and make your voice heard, then you are dismissed as wielding male privilege and entitlement.”
― Julia Serano, Excluded: Making Feminist and Queer Movements More Inclusive
Charissa's Grace Notes 
Such a fine line and as a trans woman I don’t envy the task you have ahead of you. I struggle with the entitlements that come to each gender regularly. I could go on and on. I’m not going to though because it’s me here and I don’t do that. (I just ramble.) But seriously, watching my son deal with what you do but in reverse is hard enough. You probably can guess that I expect more from everyone!
Yup, for sure. There is one advantage to my situation, that I am learning…being older already and used to speaking out, I am actually having an easier time speaking to strangers than I thought I would.
That’s great because you really do have to be able to speak out for yourself and in general.
Ick…that sounds like a nightmare. I guess you have to do what feels right for you, but I know that’s easier said than done. 🙂
That is a really salient observation…I have found that often what is “easiest” is in truth the hardest, and what is “hardest” is a piece of cake.
What I mean is this…given how I was born, it is “easiest” to simply grit my teeth and play-act to be the person everyone thinks they see in my biologically male body…but that is more difficult than can be put into words. It is nearly impossible to describe the constant electrical slash across the soul, the stultifying nullity that descends, the feeling of having disappeared even while everyone thinks you are there.
It almost killed me…literally.
Whereas, lately, I will dress according to what I want to wear that day, just like you or anyone else, and then go to the mall, or to the city…and yes, there are some looks and yeah even comments at times. BUT: on the inside? I AM someone! I am there…as ME, not as a place holder, and that makes such a difference…and in that sense, it is soo easy.
The interesting thing about what I posted on, is this: when we seek to conform to others’ expectations, we are going to get hurt and frustrated, because we can never make everyone simultaneously happy. This lesson is the same for every sentient human regardless of gender.
I am hoping and praying that as I “begin” this journey, I can incorporate years of wisdom gleaned from other times and places to make the whole she-bang more smooth and edifying.
Wow!! So much contradiction here, friend 😦