Chas | I lost a friend today and I don’t even remember….
No words…
Constance, how is it that others cannot see that these things can be avoided with accessible health care, physical and mental, and the cessation of being called things like demonized and freak, pervert and monster, and then the slurs…
It made me cry so hard, because I often feel like I don’t want to continue beneath the crushing weight of dysphoria and then the added weight of every ignorant creep who thinks they are playing “pile on the transgender person”…and then the thought that I would cause such pain to others when all I want to do is have my own be over and the guilt is huge, for even wanting to, for even thinking about it.
Sometimes I talk about my feelings, and it’s not okay that I feel them about myself, they get corrected or rejected as not true and thus not legitimate that I carry them.
But calling them “not true” doesn’t make them any less real, and it doesn’t make it hurt any less.
I can tell you this: the more I am received as just a regular person the better I feel…and the more I am rejected, the worse I feel, especially when that rejection has the Name of God attached to it. I am fortunate that I know that God loves me and that I am Acceptable in the Beloved…but many people don’t know this and that extra little oomph just might grease the skids and push them over the edge.
Charissa's Grace Notes 
This breaks my heart. All of it just breaks my heart.
“But calling them “not true” doesn’t make them any less real, and it doesn’t make it hurt any less.”
Pretty sure this was for me.
Ohhh Dani… I hurt deep inside and feel so bad when I cannot be who you all want me to be. I wish I could just have all the accurate feelings, but I am helpless in that they are there.
Like I have tried to tell you, we are learning how to talk about them. I knew this would likely hurt you and that hurts me truly.
But I posted, hoping in our sisterhood and friendship, and praying that others might learn and be of aid to someone in their life.
So yes, pertinent to us… And yet the posts that are all about you… Those are my core and undying self and that is higher and lower and wider than all my feelings for anything, yeah?
Deepest gratitude for you, You
The fold we trace, yes?? ❤
yes love…yes