Depression

Still, unseen but felt, lurking, looming
pressing against my bubble pushing hard
against my present center fading spinning wobbly.

You off balance me with your certainty, your finality
and you insinuate your monstrous purr vibrating
into my mindful choice to be…

…as you wait there, blacker on black, darker in dark,
shadow become substance as you steal essence and draw form
from eating my tentative, furtive choice to chance it

and be.

You snarl, silent, unheard except for those who cannot sleep
and you creep, forward-sideways-higher until your breath
fetid and cold punches my face with the death of stars and galaxies

and little creatures too, like me.

I turn away, and think of Her, and remind myself that
you choked one time…once…and took a beating, a hiding
as He tattooed you inside and out with His victory dance

you got greedy, thought you could swallow a god,
having dined on Their image like river runnings.
Your razor teeth ugly and crooning are close

but no cigar.

I slide my hand in Hers and pull me close
nose pressed firmly into Her garments of
sandalwood sashes and cedar cloaks jet blue and brilliant warm…

and turn away again from your awful there-ness

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4 thoughts on “Depression

  1. “I slide my hand in Hers and pull me close
    nose pressed firmly into Her garments of
    sandalwood sashes and cedar cloaks jet blue and brilliant warm…”

    This piece is very moving. The depth of where it comes from is felt.

    And then there’s that phrase- something that jumps out to me!

    • Thanks Sis…I was still pining this morning over Robin. My favorite movie of his bar none was The Fisher King…few people really paid attn and fewer know the movie, or know it as a Jeff Bridges pic.

      Literally it could have been, almost was me, many times…thank God for Their amazing Grace and sustenance…and these days, it is actually very close to what happens, that phrase that shines…

      You honor me with your appreciation, and delight me with you! 🙂

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