What I Wish People Understood About Dysphoria…

…that this coming to terms is not a one time, one way journey that once arrived in destination full is done and there to be on vacation forever…

…it is a daily choice, a moment by moment meeting with sanity, with choosing life and not death…

it takes courage to continue when the feelings fail to follow through and you are left alone with nothing but your own resolve to live and not die, especially when all around you is declaring that you either are dead already or should have the good graces to lay down and stop moving.

people in my life get discouraged and frustrated with me because the next day is sometimes worse than the day before after 3 days of steadily increasing life and hope…

…i don’t think they really get it that my brain/body disconnect is a really big deal existentially and that it isolates me terribly, a stranger in a strange land…

“how shall we sing, sing the Lord’s song, in a foreign land?”

that is from the psalms, and it is also a lyric from Godspell…the first time I heard this song I cried for days.  Literally.

I am crying now.

Oh Mama…how long!!????!!!!

4 thoughts on “What I Wish People Understood About Dysphoria…

  1. This is a hard concept for people to grasp. I know that in the 3-1/2 years since Kris came out to us, we grew to realize that this was a long journey and that it might never end. Outsiders (not our inner circle of people) don’t get that. They keep waiting for Kris to appear- a complete fully formed person who is not Kerri. They just don’t get it.

  2. “…i don’t think they really get it that my brain/body disconnect is a really big deal existentially and that it isolates me terribly, a stranger in a strange land…”

    I get it. As much as I can, I do.

  3. Pingback: Fuzzy Friday (working title…or maybe not) | Dandelion Fuzz

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.