Constance…if you commented on this poem earlier, would you kindly re-add your comments? I moved the first form of it to the trash, as I had mistakenly mis-spelled my new friend’s name. Here is the corrected version!
‘it’s like a roller coaster!” she said.
her eyes caught the dim light, dark light
that swam in that murky place
awash in muddy music
and clattery chattery din,
they reflected it back
changed and amplified,
pure and clarified
and charged with
that thrill of being alive,
that thrill of being.“ya gotta let go!” she went on.
my heart was stirred by her words,
like a drink sitting and then a straw
just hops into the drink
and rattles and revolves and churns
the spirits and icecubes
until it refreshes and is spritely
and cries out for lips
on its rim…and sips…yeah…
my heart was ready to be sipped.
“just raise your arms
while you drop and scream
your fool head off
in joyful terror midst the fall!”
and her smile, so lovely to us all
sitting entranced and inspired
must have been so fell, so grim
so terrifying to the forces of hell
that lurked nibbling at the edges
and stealing bites of hearts and souls
with electric metered music teeth
and measured shot-glass jaws.
“cus you’re gonna be held in place
and when you’re done you’ll be
so glad you did…raise your arms!”
and then she tossed her head back
just a couple inches
but whole tides turned on that sweep
like the moon across benighted skies
tugs whole oceans below in some
heavenly waltz or dosie-do!
her name was Terri
her name is Terri
and i was forever encouraged
in the meeting…and for me the word
will ever have layers and connotations
because of her,
towering red and turning
the dim to shiny from the inside out
her there across from me
and shiny red and clear all at once
amidst the dim and the dark and the din.
she leaned forward and laughed
a brilliant smile into my soul
and I felt Mama kiss the world
and rested in the moment
a little bit more whole.
Jane and I had the absolute wonderful honor to get together with John and Jennifer Pavlovitz and some people they knew via their blog and Facebook. They were out here from the East Coast for the Gay Christian Network Conference. John had posted on Facebook that they were holding an informal 2 hour meeting in Portland, and as we are only an hour or so away, we just knew we had to go.
The event was set up by a lovely woman named Diane, and we met Bridgit, Jessica, Terri, Steve, Gordon, and Ken. We had never met any of these people before, and yet somehow we all felt as if we knew each other for years.
It was a foreshadowing of eternity.
It might also be a foreshadowing of another sort, a blogger convocation that I have my lil pea brain churning away over, but that is months if not years away yet.
I cannot tell you how edifying it was to us. We are in a season where people are falling out of our lives faster than the speed of terminal velocity…being transgender is worse than being a leper, I guess. Constance, not to worry…it isn’t contagious…though the hatred that swirls around it sure seems to be. In its own way, the season of abandonment is a good one, because I have always had this deep question that has haunted me: am I loved because of what I do, the gifts I have and the things I contribute? Or am I loved just because I am me and I am alive, regardless of what I do or say or write or think?
I know now, beyond the shadow of a doubt that the people who are friends now, few as they may be, are here because they really love us, and not just what we do.
Well, the other part about this meeting that was amazing is that it foreshadows the time coming, when Mama begins to add people back into our lives, and I know She will because They are good. And these people will be people who see us.
Last night was such a time…we saw…and we were seen…and love waxed thick and comfortingly delicious! Words fail me, because it wasn’t some grandiose profound thing! It was just a bunch of ordinary dorky human beings who love an extraordinary and Lovely God, and in that meeting with us all and Them, we were beautified and overshadowed with grace, glory and gladness.
I wrote a poem for my new friend Terri…you can see it a couple of posts back right here. All the imagery and conversation has direct integration into the evening together.
Constance, do yourself a huge favor and head over to John’s blog and prowl around. He is all heart with a mind awake and a ready laugh so freely infusing the tears of the world.
I guess the best thing I could say about him is that he is safe and I trust him.
To John, Jennifer, Diane, Terri, Ken, Gordon, Steve, Jessica, and Bridgit: if you find your way here, Hiiiiiii! BIIIIGGG Charissa smiles and huggz!! I love you all and we just met! If I see you before, it won’t be soon enough, and if I don’t see you again here in this vale, well then I will see you on That Glad and Glorious Day Eternal Bright and Fair!
Do Justice. Love Mercy. Walk Humbly.
PS: we ate at a place called Killer Burger. Jane and I split a hamburger with peanut butter, bacon, pickles! YUMMMMMM