Myths About Transition Regrets | Brynn Tannehill

Myths About Transition Regrets | Brynn Tannehill.

Constance, I have pressed several articles by Brynn…here is another scintillating one, very informative and helpful in educating those who wish to learn.

As to those who don’t wish to learn, don’t waste your breath there, that is what I am learning!tumblr_nfyhwvKKif1sym2bco1_1280

The main reason that I am pressing this:  it gives me opportunity to talk about regret.

Regrets…oh how they haunt me.tumblr_mumeduCow21qiz3j8o1_500

I regret that some how some way I am distanced from the ones I love most (except for my baby and Them, thank GOD!).
I regret that I have a different understanding and experience of what love and relationship is than they do.
I regret that I then blame myself for this.

I regret that I no longer have any idea what it means to be a friend…the things that I think it means are so vastly different than the things that other people think it means…at least, in the language of deeds…

I regret that there are people who have turned on a dime and cut me out of their lives because they found out I am transgender…and even more who have simply faded away, carrying on as if I have died.

I regret that my pace and that of the rest of the world are so out of sync, so different.  In some ways I wander lands so free and boundless that they seem to never come to an end…and in other ways I am so chained and static and marooned behind prison walls that bar me from my true north place.

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I regret that I feel like anathema to some, and a trophy to others…these two groups are mirror images of each other…neither of them likes me, knows me, but each of them loves to have my pelt mounted to their heart’s wall.

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I regret that I am not a better person.

But transition?  Come out?  Be honest with myself and the world?

Well, I will never ever regret that, and only wish I had found my moment sooner.

God knows the timing of that moment, and just as when the Child came to us “when the moment was perfect”, so too did my moment come.

Listen to me Constance:  if you know someone who is transgender, and they have chosen transition, you can either be a cause of gratefulness, or a cause of sorrow…but your reaction and choices either way will not make them “un-transgender”.  So wouldn’t you rather have it on your eternal resume that you brought joy and gladness, kindness and comfort to the lowly and hurting

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…than have it written of you “this person kicked them when they were down, and helped them to kill themself”?

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This Advent…be a bearer of tidings…

…comfort and joy, Constance.
Comfort and Joy.

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3 thoughts on “Myths About Transition Regrets | Brynn Tannehill

  1. “I regret that my pace and that of the rest of the world are so out of sync, so different.”

    Do you really though?? Isn’t that part and parcel of what makes you You??

    • I do. Really.

      As to what makes me Me? This is a mystery wrapped in an enigma and placed in a riddle. I really do not know.

      It is very hard for me, Dani, to receive that what is instinctive and as natural as breathing to me is too much for others and must be moderated, must be measured out in dribs and drabs lest it overwhelm or offend…at times it is a desolate place when I discover after the fact that simply being me without thinking or self awareness (which is me at my most joyful) has been a disaster for others.

      Those are not good times…yeah. I do indeed. Regret. But besides doing my best to anticipate, double and triple think everything and play out all the possible moves ahead of time, there is really nothing that I can do about it.

      I think I commented to you before about my poem from years ago called Regression? https://charissagrace.wordpress.com/2013/11/02/regression/

      the part about catching a cricket by the wing and accusing it of chirruping…that is sort of what it feels like when people tell me I am “too”. Too much, too long, too fast, too deliberate, too obtuse, too simple, too, too TOO!

      Oh wow…it just occurred to me that if it is part and parcel of what makes me Me, then I am indeed a wrong in the world!

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