Constance…I think this is soo salient and has huge implications. I want to encourage you to read this and consider it carefully, especially if you blog.
I would add this question: What is conversation? How does it relate to the quote below? What is dialogue? Are conversation and dialogue the same thing?
Where does correspondence fit into all this?
I have some thoughts about dialogue and especially correspondence. I am old enough to have had pen-pals when I was a child and even all the way up through adulthood (when it became correspondence). I think that dialogue is a sustained conversation that occurs over time, and that the key to fruitful dialogue leading to growing and thriving relationship is EFFORT.
Having a relationship of any kind that is meaningful and more than just a surface association takes time.
It takes investment! Investment of self…investment of energy…investment of time. Time is really all we have, no? Thus, the spending of time on someone is in some measure the true indicator of our heart. Of course, this is given the context the relationship occurs in…obvi relationships that include distance or some form of separation as a component have to take those factors into consideration.
But once they are accounted for: distance, daily routine and commitments that are not possible to alter, etc. well, then it comes down to investing one’s self or not, and that is what takes a conversation into a dialogue and a dialogue into a relationship and a relationship into a friendship and a friendship into love…agape love, romantic love, platonic love, brotherly love, whatever…love. Where the other person matters to you more than you matter to yourself.
Anyway, please read the quote below and perhaps begin to actively position your online presence in such a way as to be strengthening things that remain instead of pass away faster than a deleted email.
And to those of you that I correspond, I am deeply thankful and grateful for you all! 🙂
“The great benefit of speech has been that it’s contextual.
It’s spoken to a particular person in a particular place at a particular time.
The great danger of writing is that it deprives speech of context.
It allows the illusion that something true in the particular can be universal. Literature and philosophy have been struggling with this tension of writing since its dawn, but its benefits and power are too great to ignore and writing has developed into a unique skill, generating great art and social movements based in finding the universal in the particular.
The problem of social media today is that it can’t sustain the inevitable issues caused when speech is treated as writing.
Social media masquerades as speech, invites the sharing of the particular, but is treated as writing. It is deprived of context, the speaker and listener removed from all that would make the act meaningful in the particular and left unable to bear the weight of the universal.”
Dear Constace…any of you struggle with self-loathing? Oh I know, we all at times don’t like ourselves, but that is different. I struggle with self-loathing…a lot. Self-Loathing is when you know better cognitively, you recognize that the feelings you have about yourself are inaccurate and not true in any external objective sense, but the feelings themselves just don’t care! They exist anyway, no matter what you tell them or believe.
Usually the best I can get by myself is a compromise: I will ignore you (the feelings) and you (the feelings) will hate me and we will just walk thru the day that way. And silence…well silence is like gasoline to self-loathing because it feeds the feelings and the feelings get control and feed the wrong thoughts which feed the feelings and before you know it I am in internal 5 alarm fire and human emotional conflagration.
But there is a wild card: Love. Love can break the back of the feelings and make them go away, whether it be the words of my baby or my bestie or even a stray compliment from a total stranger.
And Mama…She has saved the day so often.
Well, I saw this lil quote and it made me smile, cus yeah…this works too! Thanks Darling!!!
tell me which part of yourself
you hate the most
so I know exactly where to plant my lips
every time I see you