10 Things You’re Actually Saying When You Ignore Someone’s Gender Pronouns — Everyday Feminism.
Constance…immediately pass this on to every stubborn person who is important to you. It is that good, and it does give the basic and true message communicated by those who refuse to use proper pronouns.
I know in my life? So unfortunate, but the people that I love, was willing to sacrifice for and even die a bit for, well, they did not feel the same way about me and they engaged in terrible acts of betrayal.
So, weirdly, it set me free.
Now? Well, thanks to them, and my wonderful horrible very own haters who come as dementors, I have toughened up…and here is the truth:
When you gender-shame me with improper pronouns and hate filled speech, you identify yourself as a hater, and make the whole thing easy for me. I can save my love and effort for those who are engaged and loving.
“But wait!!” I can hear the haters right now. “Wait! You have to love your enemies and be kind to those who persecute you!” Well hater…I will after you do. You stop showing up here spewing your crap, and show me how to love…and in my case, I am not even your enemy and have never done a thing to you, have never even met you! So you have the easy down hill…you simply be nice and love me…and then I will think about it.
“But what can I do to love you??” asks the hater…
Use the proper pronouns. We’ll start there.
Charissa
Charissa's Grace Notes 
“When you gender-shame me with improper pronouns and hate filled speech, you identify yourself as a hater, and make the whole thing easy for me. I can save my love and effort for those who are engaged and loving.”
Ding. Ding.
Haters = not.worth.the.time
P.S. A big YES on this:
“We should treat each other as the experts on our own experience, and respect the identities we claim.”
Great article, Charissa!
“In other words, you heard their truth, but you are not accepting it. Instead, you are ignoring it. You are saying, “You said this is so, but I don’t believe you, so I will reject your truth and replace it with my assumptions”
Wow. This applies to many situations in addition to pronouns, right?
Thank you for your sweet note this morning…my energy is returning. xo
wekkum…i felt your eyes drinking the good water there 🙂
Well said, ‘Rissa!
Reblogged this on Asexuality in A Sexual World and commented:
This is an interesting and, at least I thought, an insightful look into addressing transgender people. Good, and frankly, hard – hitting read.
Thank you so very much for your to the point comment. I appreciate so much the strength of mind and commitment I sense behind it, and I am grateful you reblogged the article. The author did a fabulous job and deserves as much attention as can be garnered.
Charissa
You’re welcome. It was a very well – written article. 🙂