10 Things You’re Actually Saying When You Ignore Someone’s Gender Pronouns — Everyday Feminism

10 Things You’re Actually Saying When You Ignore Someone’s Gender Pronouns — Everyday Feminism.

Constance…immediately pass this on to every stubborn person who is important to you.  It is that good, and it does give the basic and true message communicated by those who refuse to use proper pronouns.

I know in my life?  So unfortunate, but the people that I love, was willing to sacrifice for and even die a bit for, well, they did not feel the same way about me and they engaged in terrible acts of betrayal.

So, weirdly, it set me free.

Now?  Well, thanks to them, and my wonderful horrible very own haters who come as dementors, I have toughened up…and here is the truth:

When you gender-shame me with improper pronouns and hate filled speech, you identify yourself as a hater, and make the whole thing easy for me.  I can save my love and effort for those who are engaged and loving.

“But wait!!”  I can hear the haters right now.  “Wait!  You have to love your enemies and be kind to those who persecute you!”  Well hater…I will after you do.  You stop showing up here spewing your crap, and show me how to love…and in my case, I am not even your enemy and have never done a thing to you, have never even met you!  So you have the easy down hill…you simply be nice and love me…and then I will think about it.

“But what can I do to love you??” asks the hater…

Use the proper pronouns.  We’ll start there.



Transgender Children – Transgender Stories – Woman’s Day

Transgender Children – Transgender Stories – Woman’s Day.

Okay, I just bawled my way thru this story…Oh Mama, please bless this woman for her faithful love of her son and of you.  Please honor her for praying that prayer “Change my heart”, instead of wreaking havoc by climbing up on the throne and trying to change everything and everyone else!

Love, Charissa

Calling My Poetry Lovers

Hii Pamela!

(LOL…so if “Constance is my shorthand for “Constant Reader”, then I shall make “Pamela” my shorthand for my poetry readers!)

So listen…I am putting a call out.  What is up with my poem Hummingbird Hurricanes?  There really have been crickets on this post, and this surprises me…oh I am never really sure if a poem is good or not, but what I am sure of is how I feel after I write a poem, and how there has been a strong correlation when I feel one way about a poem and the kinds of reaction a poem gets.

When there are lots of comments and reactions to a poem, it matches a certain feeling inside.

And I had that feeling over this poem.  I was excited, could not wait to post it…and…

*crickets in the gutter*

So I want feedback!  Tell me, is it really that incomprehensible?  Are the metaphors convoluted?  Is its belt too tight, shoes too small?

If it is too incomprehensible, well…this time I am doing no lexicon, no Rosetta stone…there are very easy and simple keys here.  It relates to prior poems, it is on themes I very often am drawn to…it deals in 3s…and there are 3s scattered all around us.  Spiritual 3s, 3s of humanity, 3s of indivdual human beings, 3s in intersecting things in my poetry.

Ah well…sometimes I guess we just miss it as poets…if that is the case with this one, alas.

At any rate, I like it very much and am proud to have birthed this poem in the difficulties and I find myself in…it is a good indicator that I will eventually bounce back and live, and not die.

Love, Charissa (the insecure poetess)


Are You Real?

“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.
“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful.
“When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”
“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”
“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse.

“You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

– The Velveteen Rabbit (or How Toys Become Real) by Margery Williams, 1922