A Year Later, “Nothing” Has Changed Since Transgender Woman Islan Nettles Was Killed

A Year Later, “Nothing” Has Changed Since Transgender Woman Islan Nettles Was Killed.


Constance…I really need your support…we human beings who are transgender need your support.  This link documents how we transgendered people are considered essentially sub-human, when we are considered at all.

It can only change as your identification of us as human is made an absolute axiomatic given.

I have sought here, at Grace Notes, to be an educator, a dialogue starter, an exhorter, an encourager…it is my hope that as you read here, listening to my words and feeling my heart, you can get in touch with the life, and verve, and passion, and hurt, and joy, and highs and lows (in other words, the human experience we share in common).

I am incredibly blessed…I am rich beyond compare when I consider my plethora of talents and gifts that have been bestowed on me…and I have a voice here through my writing, an opportunity to speak for those who have no voice, or have no way to express what they feel so all they can d is howl in despair and rage and pain.

But without you, we are nothing, and we count for nothing, and we can do nothing…because we do not have access to the power and privilege that you do.

Please…go read…and remember that each one of those precious souls was created in God’s Image, loved infinitely by God, and is just like you in their hopes, dreams, longings, fears.  They might have made different life choices, and we all know that life choices have consequences…but that doesn’t mitigate their worth, value, and significance.

I have been soo incredibly honored by so many of you with your trust, and rewarded beyond belief when someone will comment “my friend Charissa”…thank you!

I would be honored even deeper if you would begin to watch for an opportunity to befriend someone in your area, someone whom They would lead you to…there are a lot of “Charissas” out there…your kindness just might make the different between life and death.

Soo much grateful love…soo much earnest exhortation!



Abandoning Perpetrator Logic and Moving Toward Survivor-Centered Understandings of Sexual Violence — Everyday Feminism

Abandoning Perpetrator Logic and Moving Toward Survivor-Centered Understandings of Sexual Violence — Everyday Feminism.

Constance…this is post number 666…and of course this number carries connotations dire and threatening!

(By the way, do you know why the number of the antichrist is 666?  I do!  See…Greek and Hebrew letters also are assigned numerical equivalents, and there is some pretty good insight into things to be gained by knowing a little about it.  The number corresponding to Grace is 5.  The number corresponding to Perfection is 7.  The number of man is 6.  Man was created on the 6th day.  Notice also how 6 is the number 5 plus 1…which signifies how man tries to add his own work and effort to God’s.  Notice also how 6 is 7 minus one…which shows how in spite of his very best attempts, man falls short of perfection.  Thus the antichrist is 666…and that is the antilog to the 3 in one of the Trinity)

Anyway:  check out the link and read this fabulous article!  It highlights thinking that I feel is the offspring of anti-christ thinking!

Perpetrator Logic:

Perpetrator logic says that the person impacted doesn’t get to say whether something was traumatic. The only opinions that matter are those of the perpetrator and those who defend their actions by writing off some violence as “lesser” than others.

Hey Constance…remember the experience I had regarding the nationalism and being othered strictly on the basis of my nation, and then having my objections to that dismissed and defined as indicative of a larger problem???  Ya know, in a way?  That was perpetrator logic too!

Or…how about the apology non-apology that says “I am sorry if you were hurt by what I did” or “If I offended anyone I am sorry you got offended”…or “I am sorry BUT…”


Yep…definitely the logic of an antichrist point of view of reality and life.

Check out the article…it speaks specifically of sexual abuse and violence, but it easily intersects philosophically as well.  She goes on to espouse better systems of thinking, describes the spiral model of healing from assault, and then gives several steps that can help you participate in paradigm change.

Paradigm change…hey, it’s coming.  There is no choice on that.  But you do have a choice in whether you are on the side of the angels and help bring about the liberty that is getting closer, or if you find yourself shackled in the chains of those who were slaves in the old paradigm…somewhat like how people who were against allowing African American people all rights and liberties they are entitled to by virtue of being created in God’s image and priceless in worth.

Lastly…in what ways do you practice perpetrator thinking, and not even realize it?  (Hint:  chances are that if you are a member of the “in-power” group, then you have at some point indulged this shortcut).  And, what ways have you practiced survivor thinking?  What ways can you practice that?

Yours always in Challenging Love and Bountiful Grace,



Hi Constance…my baby came home from her first day back teaching today, and we were chatting and catching up.  I had a day where I had my muse buried in the work place…I had to write the performance reviews for my team that I watch over and lead.  This is a task I take quite seriously, and try to find just the right thing about each person to make the core of the review, and then build on that.  I love to write good reviews because I think it ultimately reflects well on our whole team, so I encourage the team to regularly tell me about the amazing things they do when they are out on the job and by themselves with only the $250,000 piece of equipment and their customers and their skills.

Initially, they were reluctant to “brag” but as soon as they saw how much better their reviews were?  The onslaught began.  🙂

Constance, have you ever sat through a performance review that was like being before the Sanhedrin and no way to answer back because the person reviewing you had no clue what you did everyday, and just reviewed you in the way that was most convenient to him and covered his own backside?  It hurts, it humiliates, and it is a horror movie from which you cannot wake.

So I promised myself I would never do that…and I am proud to say that in 10 years I have written precisely one bad review.

Anyway, back to the story…after we chit-chatted and caught up on things, she got on her computer to relax…and headed straight over to Grace Notes!!  Giggle…I am still working on things and she says “Ohh BAY-bee, what’s the matter with you??  I don’t see any new posts!”  (She was teasing me about how some days I just go crazy getting things that interest me up)

Of course I was outraged, as I had been pouring myself fully into my reviews, something she knew full well…so I “launched” into an omfg moment…until I stopped for breath to see her laffing like a loon!  She says “I hadda give my baby a couple lil pokes didn’t I?”  I stopped…speechless, and then gave a muffled hrumph as I choked back my own giggles…

so here is your post, darling.  I love you anyways!  SMOOCHIESMOOCH!!!