Up Against It

I’m up against it,
the wall that is,
its smooth surface
featureless and bland
and rough and raspy
all at once.

It shuts me out
and cuts me off
and defines me
as outside even
though I might
actually be inside.

But really, what
does it matter
since you are not
on the other side
and so this wall
meaningless is just mean?

Here is what hurts the most:

you deny it is there
and it mushes my face

up against it.

Une Matinee d’Hiver

an afternoon in winter…
the geese above the field…
the field beneath the rainclouds…
so thick and straining full…

the lonesome sounds of wind-song…
the listless rustling branches…
the silhouettes so stark…
the weak grey skies above…

Une matinee d’hiver…
the useless summer stubble…
it lingers on the creek-banks…
I tarry…there…I wait…

A Rain-Fall In Autumn

I am standing in the midst of mist
and swirling grey streaked lengthy
with soft silver songs sung sighing
lost so long ago and dying

as the stone piled up on stone
oh so regal, stark and solid
now gives way to winds a crying
over years and years and yearstumblr_ngrktyoIJJ1u1lh4ho1_1280and the rains fall washing all
in the bittersweet wet fountains
of the coming Bright Steep Mountains
falling from Aurora Rainbows Skies
landing on the earth in ruinstumblr_nxbd6zzkpw1t33f7ao1_1280yes, in rain and ruins
I stand lonely and alone
and musky light smudges
my cheeks so wet
and blood deserts my body
and runs to the earth
between my toes
and there upon the soil
it does lay herself to dietumblr_nws9c5YRIC1thfeewo1_500alone
and deserted6bb76-12132917_525671840926504_96677004_n

My Secret Strings

Will any
fingers ever find
my secret strings
stretched taut inside?tumblr_nk4pmaU8hn1r3lgr9o1_500Intricate, delicate,
intimate, articulate
invisible to any eye
not naked, any heart
still dressed in sheaths
and robes and layers.tumblr_nxevjufjwU1turrjgo1_500I am
I am
and sheaths
(or rather,
I am
in  those swaddles)tumblr_nxf4g61Dqi1qat5pio1_500I am
those strings stretched
from Terebinthia to Gondolin
I am a song
played by wind
on window panes
by drops of raintumblr_mplmt2mrm41rfp1lho1_r2_500and lightening fingers
dancing cross
the crests of frothy waves
silver in the light
of hidden stars
and stormy moons.tumblr_nq5t0x2gLp1u1sz1oo1_1280I am
not accessible
to just
and if you
find yourself
become bored
easily, then
shove off,
move along
go and listen
to the Beatles
or someone else
like them
(there are a million wannabes).tumblr_nf6v639d5W1txde3xo1_540But until
the Time
might ever
come, I still…
will any
fingers find
my strings,
hands caress
my neck?tumblr_lx4e3kosSN1qzwaddo1_1280

Tonight Inside This Skin

It’s lonely here tonite
and all alone inside
my skin

while music plays
and pretty soon
the air is filled with
shadow shades
that sing,

lament, remind me of
my failure to be what
you wanted, what
they wanted.

And there…

in yon wood there
sits the bear
in silverlight
there in the rising
dark and that bear
part and parcel
of itself and
of the wood

but me…alone
inside this skin
well, it’s lonely
here tonight
inside this skin

inside this skin

Not A “Sometimes” Girl

I am not a “sometimes” girl
a sometimes thrill or sometimes time.
I am not occasionally
or when you feel like coming round.

I am not available just now and then
cus if that’s what you want, well I just grin
and fake it like it’s all the time
but I am gone around the bend.

I am not a kitchen drawer
full of batteries and more
to be wrenched open in your need
and taken from as seed to feed

an image of a self or time
when fullness is a masquerade
for decorating a fat heart
I’m a whole, not just a part.

I guess that means I run the risk
of standing lonely in the dusk
and looking on from the outside
but that’s okay…I turn and ride

knowing I am me and always
all the time an always girlImage 005

Soft and Furious

words are all I have left,
soft and furious
like ocean waves
breaking on themselves
far out to sea
and lonely
because there are no rocks
to dash themselves ontumblr_nl3yxwcJaH1qz62xqo1_1280sometimes those words
get frozen inside my mouth
because everything around me
is cold and static
but the words are insistent
and well up inside me
soft and furioustumblr_nkibc3eZgO1r4d0svo1_r1_1280