The Rustling of Those Wings

I always thought vultures
slept at night, devil-red heads
bulbous on scrawny leather necks
tucked under fetid wing and pinion.

I was wrong.

They never sleep
but circle
endlessly
always

gliding around the dying
the rotten and discarded
waiting for that last quick breath
and then they land nearby
and hop like feather frogs
to their last supper never ending

I stick my head
out in the night
and cannot see them
but I know they are there
by the way
the rustling of those wings
echoes in my hearttumblr_nulpidcDV91utvlmvo1_500

What’s the Science? | Trans-Parenting

Source: What’s the Science? | Trans-Parenting

This is a good resource page for anyone to be able to find good sources to help explain what our current technological state reveals about the physical side of gender-orientation and the reasons for this particular point on the continuum of the intersection of gender and biology.

Take a look…it will settle you if you are uncertain, and affirm you if you are already an ally.

02, 9/11/12, 2:49 PM,  8C, 5360x5432 (392+1312), 100%, Custom,  1/15 s, R49.0, G34.0, B57.0

02, 9/11/12, 2:49 PM, 8C, 5360×5432 (392+1312), 100%, Custom, 1/15 s, R49.0, G34.0, B57.0

Humiliation and Embarrassment

Yesterday was the strangest day I have lived in a while…

…it started off with the strangest and most confusing comment I have had directed at me in a long time, one I am STILL confused about the motivation of the commenter…that hadda do with the topic of personality type (see my thoughts about that over here at this link: Personality Types

And then the rest of the day exemplified the stressors that get me spinning.

They don’t bear repeating, but wow was the day confusing…

One thing that is really stressful to me is when I am in the middle of two competing needs, each one to which I represent “help”, and each one is equally valid…wow is that hard, because what generally happens is that I get caught between a rock and a hard place…

If I meet the one need, the other one will sit there and testify that “Charissa is not here to help”, and if I stay with the other one then the first will go hungry and embody lack and THAT one will say that “Charissa is not here to help”.

Each one will think that I am simply inactive and have nothing to do so and thus am a resource to plug into the leaky dyke to staunch the leak.

And my perspective is that every moment of my day is scheduled, and generally the time I get to do other things I find in what are thought of as the wee hours…so when the two needs begin to compete? I am acutely aware that it is a lose-lose for me…meet one and not meet the other or meet the other and not meet the one.

Sigh…

And there was one of those experiences at the end of the day that was so humiliating and embarrassing that it made me wanna crawl into a hole in the ground and just disappear…let’s just say that something happened that hasn’t happened to me since kindergarten…

sigh

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