Woman Realizes That She’s Been Accidentally Abusing Her Husband This Whole Time… Wow.

Woman Realizes That She’s Been Accidentally Abusing Her Husband This Whole Time… Wow..

Okay…so it is not an accident.  But it was in the area of things that happen in relationships where there is great familiarity, relationships that have not yet progressed through the “familiarity breeds contempt” stage, and into the “the very things I used to hate the most about you now make you utterly endearing” stage.

I post this…because I have done this.  Many times.
And my baby has done this a time or two as well.
And she has loved me, stood with me and for me and in me through it all…as I have with and for and in her too.

And we have emerged into a place of wonder in our oneness…and no, it is not a “get out of jail” moment that simply says nothing bad happened or no price was paid…the price was really beyond my ability to speak it.

Outsiders judge…and even people who might be in the same house are “outsiders” in a relationship of intimate commitment, and it is so gosh dang easy to pass judgment.  But to love someone…at their most petty, at their worst, at their lowest…this is the real measure of love and commitment.

I am so honored and blessed that my Jane is such a one who loves…and I think she would say the same of me.  Baby, I am glad we paid the price, and ended up with each other.

Now…Constance…please take a look at your own relationship in light of this article, and take the steps necessary to cherish your beloved above your preference.

And if you don’t have a relationship?

That might be a sign…

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Failure and Forgiveness

There is a brand new recycling of an old, ancient lie told to soothe one’s enflamed ego and sense of being wounded and let down in experiencing the world.

The lie is that there is no such thing as failure, and that as a human being it is impossible to fail another person.

I would laugh if it wasn’t such a tragic and poisonous lie.

But the lie is told for a more basic reason than to just insulate one’s heart against hurt:  the lie is told to free one’s self from the pain of forgiveness, from giving forgiveness and even more important, from receiving forgiveness…

…and those pains are freely paid to avoid confronting the root:  Pride.  I think it likely that Pride is the root of all evils in the world.

At any rate, Desmond Tutu has some very cogent things to say about forgiveness:

“The quality of human life on our planet is nothing more than the sum total of our daily interactions with one another. Each time we help and each time we harm we are dramatically impacting our world.
     As long as we are human, some of our interactions will go wrong, and then we will hurt or be hurt or both. It is the nature of being human and it is unavoidable.
     Forgiveness is the way we set those interactions right. It is the way we mend tears in the social fabric. It is the way we stop our human community from unraveling.
Desmond Tutu, The Book of Forgiving

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