Many Colors and Hues

Deep and throbbing,
desire and aspiration pull hard
like malamutes in downy snow,
dragging my aim forward
and my resolve further
and my will shouts GEE!  HAW!

I have one brush,
but many colors,
many shades
(and hues).
To mark out,
to inscribe and convey
some tenor and melody
and picture with one brush.

Inner riots come under orders,
bevel together in harmony,
and find floral voice through my brush,
and I find my tongue and
speak rainbows, prisms,
and ever always of
the Grand Banquet and celebration…
here the rainbow swirls
out, and back,
and delivers on its Promise.

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Submission Update:

OMFG…leave it to my ditzy self to submit to a publication that is currently not publishing poetry!!!

LOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!

But the editor who responded was soo nice and encouraging, and said she thought my poems were beautiful, and if they began to publish poetry I would be the first one to know!

So that made me happy, knowing that they didn’t think my poems are lousy!

Thanks Georgia!!!!

Her Mercy Womb

All the relentless blows,
the pains, the wounds.
All the mummy-wrap wadded and
shoved roughshod down my throat
and through my heart…
The searing letdowns,
the cold denials of
heaving and wrenching begging.
Burdens allowed to pile up,
build up, bury me
in desperation and despair.
And silences…towering,
looming, lurking, leering,
mocking, unlistening…
All of these things
were horror to me…
But to Mama,
they were the womb that She wove
to carry me full,
carry me careful,
pregnant with me,
Her Daughter,
Her Offspring of Grace

Charissa

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Updates and Editing: Carapace is better, I think

Poetry writing is such an organic process for me.  Sometimes I get an image…sometimes I overhear a conversation.  Sometimes there is a feeling or longing or breaking within that can only be addressed with a poem.

Usually, I write them, and then leave them be.  Poems are far more impressionistic for me than some epic statement or magnum opus.  They are less a detailed work and more a capturing of that moment or issue and how it was hitting me at the time…the poem is essentially the nexus of my soul with whatever has hit me.

But once in awhile…I will edit…a lot!  Usually, when I read it out loud to myself, I can hear things that eluded my grasp in the capturing.  Very often there is a rhythm that I had been writing in without realizing.  So I begin to become intentional about that.  Changing words, moving them in the line or to a different line entirely.  Changing tenses…and it amazes me how sometimes this makes the poem far better, and sometimes it is like with a dish in the kitchen…ya gotta know when to just let it be and serve it!  Giggle.

A couple of my poems that I have edited recently are “Carapace” and “My Heart Dares“.  I think each one is far stronger, far more integrated and cohesive.  Carapace is done…but My Heart Dares I am going to hone a bit more I think.

Anyway, I wanted to note the editing, and if you are interested, you can see if you agree that they are better, or if you say CHARISSA…git yer butt outta the kitchen NOW!  LOL!

Excited and nervous

So…….yesterday I submitted some poetry to a magazine that I respect.  It is published by my 2 daughters’ close friend from Jr. High and High School.  They were telling me about K****, and her husband who had started up this publication, and it was getting lots of well deserved props!

But I didn’t submit there for that reason, the girls and their friend…I submitted because when I looked at the magazine I thought it was so cutting edge and much needed for some huge lacks in our modern and sterile culture.  It resonated with my values, principles, and philosophies.  It is clean and laid out so artistically and it’s esthetically pleasing too.

In reading the articles and thinking, I resonated deeply with their call to community and family and spiritual approaches to living.  I identified with the commitment to “good art” and an aesthetic that was committed to beauty and truth.  In short, I felt the same way inside me when I read it as I do when I am creating a poem!

So, I decided to submit.  I sent in What is Grey?and If I Could Go Back...”and Merry Christmasand Come Sit With Me.

The spirit of What is Grey fits in well with what I read, and If I Could Go Back…tries to capture the essence of friendship and love and community.

After I did it, I started to get anxious and stressed.  I had to say a bit about myself, and for now, besides here in this blog, I am only out to immediate family, my counselour Heather and my Naturopaths.  So I called one of my daughters and talked with her and she encouraged me a lot by telling me that her friend has expressed to her a deep desire to be of assistance to the LGTB community, and specifically to transgender people!  Imagine my delight and instant hope!

And then, last night, negativity pulled me deep, and I had to laugh, because before I submitted, I considered those 4 poems solid…and after?  Worst. Poems. In. The. World!!!!!!