Being transgender has given me a different perspective on life than most people…it is a terrible burden and tortured place to live…
It is also a huge gift, for it gives me insight into a greater spectrum, and in the long run has been a crucible of great value and worth to form me into the kind of person that I desire to be.
See…I desire to be a surrendered person, yielded to the Good and Love and Grace of my creator. I desire to show thru my life that God is indeed Good, and that every good and perfect gift comes from Him.
Aside: I am using the traditional pronouns for God…simply to keep things simple. Anyone with half a brain knows that God transcends male just as much as he transcends female…I will post on this later, but for now, assume that my pronoun use is knowing and intentional, but not rooted and bound in religious tradition.
Back to my thoughts…to be a real Christian, to truly live as a child of God: what does that look like? Whole libraries have been conceived on this, heaping up requirement on requirement and burden on burden.
I think the whole thing can be reduced to this: Yielded vessel yielding blessing.
If we but yield, and allow Love to flow into us, inform us, heal us and renew us, and then flow out of us so that we do not stagnate, then we can truly be little children of the great God of love.
So…as a transgender person, I an positioned and gifted with a wider spectrum of tools to use, and have a greater potential to truly empathize with the plight of men and also the plight of women. I chuckle as I think of my daughter who has told me that so much of what I used to tell her when she was in high school now makes sense to her…it was a mystery to her how her father could give her insight into growing as a woman and being strong as a woman.
In my job, I work around men who are macho types and high testosterone fueled…our job is stressful and dangerous, and takes people who are both independent and reliable, yet able to meld as a team. These men are so lonely, so cut off from themselves and from others in their life. I am able to be received into their hearts because I wear the skin of a male…but then once there…I can give them the nurture and love and care that they are starved for.
I am especially aware of just how enslaved men can be within the palace of White Male privilege in our society…keeping up the front, keeping up the image, bearing untold burdens and stress and never ever being allowed to talk about it for fear of being perceived as weak or …GASP…FEMININE!!!!
But they will talk to me.
Similarly, I have counseled so many of my sisters in how to deal with their husband,s brothers, fathers, co workers, helping them to know what men are like from a woman’s perspective, because I can move unseen through their camp.
It is a lonely place, for each one is glad for me, but each one thinks I am strange and apart.
Someday, I shall be released.