Thinking About Nothing

A man must dream
a long time in order
to act with grandeur…
and dreaming is
nursed in darkness.
Jean Genet

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and women?
what are dreams to women?
who work while it is day
and watch in darkest night
o’er all the sleeping dreamers
and their slumbering sight…

and what about me?
I, who sit and think
in the night’s
encompassing embrace.

I do not dream of grandeur
but watch in nights of dark
and I think about nothing
that thing impossible
distinguished from what is
and thus having being
in what it never is
and never can become…

I think about nothing.tumblr_nwqho2tUVz1qas1mto5_1280

I LITrally Thought This When I Was Young!

In school, I was taught that the word “men” could mean all genders—it was up to the reader to be inclusive with the word in their mind. The word women always just meant women. So maybe men just need to find their path to include themselves every time I say women.
Katherine Bernard, reading Maggie Nelson’s “The Argonauts”


Related to THE Gift post…

‎’Slut’ is attacking women for their right to say yes. ‘Friend Zone’ is attacking women for their right to say no.
And “bitch” is attacking women for their right to call you on it.

Constance, recall how I have written of my axiomatic belief regarding sexuality…if you aren’t familiar with it you can scroll a bit and find it pretty easy.  Well, in light of that I would obviously look at any sexual encounter other than a seriously contemplated and abstractly chosen one when not under the influence of feelings or hormones stirred up as a less than wise choice likely to result in brokenness and sorrow.

That is not to pass a moral judgement on that choice!  It is, rather, a wisdom-oriented outlook assessment of a choice.

Having said that, I think it would be easily inferred that I would consider sexual behavior that exemplified in a true sense any of the words I am going to list as a less than optimal choice:  Stud, Slut, Horn-dog, Whore, and any other similar slang.  Okay, we clear on that?  I am not affirming those choices as wise.

BUT:  the quote I posted is powerful, because it confronts the way the current paradigm uses words, labels and the sexual choices of women as clubs to beat them with and bars to bind them with.  And as such, I oppose using those means to abrogate the essential and legitimate right of women to choose their own destiny and fate with every last bit of right and permission from Them as any male has.  Period!

And once that is settled, there is a true basis to dialogue together as human beings on how to empower everyone to make choices that best poise each one for wholeness and fulfillment.

Love yourself before you love everyone else…especially all ye who love to “speak the truth in love”…start with your own heart first, in all its towering deceitfulness before you start on anyone else’s…I think we each have enough to keep us busy without needing to start in on others whose hearts we cannot even see let alone truly know.

Love, Charissa


Of Women and Wolves

let’s talk about our bleeding hearts,
what it means to call those bloody parts
by their names…

yes, here we are telling stories about them,
telling stories about women and wolves.

there are also stories

–corollaries to these lupine tales–

of feminine triumph and guile,
(stories of the torn, the disappeared and devoured)

and to whom would we show them to?

so let’s us weave with words
epistolary and elevated,
eloquent and ebeneous.
let’s tell us our secrets
and set each other free.

and then
we can walk
down by the river
deep, and dark with
told secrets, cold silent
secrets told in winds and
moans, shrieks, of lightning
shimmering, flashing, and
dancing down to earth
called by our long
sudden bright

our pockets will be full of stones
there, down by the river deep.
our mouths will be safe, closed
over all the words we spoke,
the secrets that we shared
for keeps…

and the words
we wished we’d said
(and the words that wished
we had said them too)…

why, they shall be our catechism,
our communion for sisters of blood
and dull loss and bright victory
over empty wombs and hurt that looms,
lurking and lappaceous.

and those wolves, those lonely wolves
shall fall silent, denied their howls by ours
and our words spoken and unspoken,
our silence shattered and unbroken,
our secrets shared
for keeps.

and the river will ever again always
be ours and carry the flow of our tales,

our stories of
women and wolves

Yes. All Men. | Consent Culture

Yes. All Men. | Consent Culture.

Constance…I am pressing yet another fabulous piece on misogynist culture and our responsibility to take our courage in hand and root out this evil mode of being.

I believe it is more than thought…it has become a lifestyle.

The language and spirit of this piece is tough, but so what?  Plow thru it anyway…and men, particularly note the mandate you are issued towards the end of your responsibility to go to work specifically in “men-only” spaces.  In my life of consignment to men-only spaces, I was not the only one protesting the treatment of women precisely 4 times, and that is in my lifetime so far to the best of my recollection.

It doesn’t take courage to beat up a girl…but it does take courage to stand up to other men and say no more.

Yes. All Men. | Consent Culture.

How many cis-gender women would be willing to wear the label of transwoman?

The salient part of this article is what I will post.  The whole thing can be found at the following link:


Now let us suppose that being TS/TG wasn’t an exceptional burden for any child to grow up with.

That would presuppose the transkid wasn’t obvious, that it wasn’t written on their body and they didn’t have their education destroyed by bullying.

We all have one thing in common.  At some point in our lives we come out and transition.

Considering how M to F transsexual and transgender people have to fight to be considered part of the human race, much less women is it really reasonable to smack us around with the male privilege slur?

Further this gets used in a gender policing manner that requires us to adhere to some of the strictest gender guidelines this side of some of the fundie religious cults.

If our status as female goes unquestioned then we are free to be loose in our embrace of gender without taking a bunch of shit.  Unless we out ourselves to people we think are our friends in the lesbian/feminist world.

Then our doing anything is seen as residual male privilege.  Even if we learned the skill long after transitioning and had to put up with all sorts of sexist bull shit to learn it.

I feel sorry for those sisters who aren’t able to blend in.  What sort of male privilege is there to being obviously TS/TG?  To being unable to get a job or walk down the street without being taunted?

But there is a real test, one that is pretty much a fail by anyone’s standards.

How many cis-gender women would be willing to wear the label of transwoman?

One would think that all sorts of cis-gender women would embrace the label in exchange for all the privilege transwomen are supposed to have.

But I be willing to bet damned few would risk coming out to their friends as being a transwoman, even as part of a psych experiment to record their friend’s reactions.

Most of those who hurl this slur are simply being hateful and displaying their own norm-born cis-privilege.  They know full well that TS/TG people go through life taking shit cis-gender folks would be appalled at were it to happen to them.

The real kicker is we are just supposed to suck it up and absorb the bullshit, just like we did when we were transkids.