Morning Meditations

When you lose the rest of everything
and the curb merges with the gutter,
wander on down the grey road
in the weak darkness, thin and sorry
for its skinny powers.

Like you, it has been stripped
and hollowed out by pillars
of strange orange man-made lights
that pulse to rhythms eldritch
and out of whack.

Turn left at the golden arches
and meander downhill toward
that weedy field of thistles and look
beneath its frosty veil for the path, no…
the part traversing that bristly mane
low and lurking deep in the foot
of the silent graveyard speaking so insistent
in what it cannot say.untitled_by_beyondimpression-d86j5snHead to the pylon, pushing thru the wild roses
and brambles and you can find me, sleeping and still,
swathed in brilliant reds that have been infected with
the sicknesses of too much and too little.

Cast-off Goodwill wannabes swaddle me
in the mangy light so far away from even
Bethlehem let alone a stable, and I struggle
to stay beneath the thready stream of thin sleep
doled out to me like penitentiary-gruel
to dulled-out dwellers in the dimness
that masquerades as just deserts deep-deserved.

Feel that moist air clinging to your cheeks
like my fingers used to cling to those faces
cherubic and innocent and unaware of the plague
awaiting outside the place we all used to live.tumblr_nvjxog2KC61u9koqpo1_1280Smell that rank faint scent that lives only
at the foot of graveyards and only creeps
out in the dead of night…and take a deep breath,
for that breath is your inheritance now, in this
long first night in the fake wilds beneath
the petty-coats of this town but no longer with
a place to call home, or even a cover to keep out
the creeping dread of realization that this will happen

over and over and over and over and over and…tumblr_n6myj3d0Re1s2fme1o1_r2_500

you can curl up behind me and we can spoon and
maybe our touch will lure the moon over
the crouched hump of the bridge that sings once
in a while with the passing of scrabbling
metal beasts scurrying thru this place
on the way to nowhere.

Or if that small comfort is too slow and uncertain,
trek across the creek and look under the bridge
by the trestle beams so dark and still and
certain of their strength.

They sweat in cold beads
and if you stick out your tongue
you can trap a few drops there and here
that will cool your ravaged hot throat torn
with such thirsty longing for what used to be…

and if you stick out your arm, well then
swift flows the river current for those
who would brave the rapids and ravages
of those waters.

But then again, you may as well
take the shortcut, up the twisty hill
and lay down amidst the still stone angels
and the lumpy skeletal headboards
amidst the sighing dead awaiting
for the Rising Morning…

I live here now, in this red infected light
of lone loss and dewy violet memory and
I’ve learned to thrive off things despised,
I’ve learned to sift the dregs and love
the cast-off lees and living here
wrapped so warm in Autumn Leaves
and with The Least of These…

I think I prefer authentic life even
in light somewhat diseased rather
than the full on blind brilliance
of that time past asleep in true light
but wasted light streaming on by
while my eyes were shut and sealed
and my heart full of things I knew
that just weren’t so.

Wander on
down the grey road,
for I am waiting
here.tumblr_nvl3hgGvBu1ty8kogo1_1280

 

3 thoughts on “Morning Meditations

  1. This definitely has the feeling of poems past, but there is a newness there, too; a rebirth of sorts, it seems. The part that grabbed and held me was this:

    “…I’ve learned to thrive off things despised,
    I’ve learned to sift the dregs and love
    the cast-off lees and living here
    wrapped so warm in Autumn Leaves
    and with The Least of These…

    I think I prefer authentic life even
    in light somewhat diseased rather
    than the full on blind brilliance
    of that time past asleep in true light
    but wasted light streaming on by
    while my eyes were shut and sealed
    and my heart full of things I knew
    that just weren’t so.”

    Loving what you’ve learned and what you now prefer.

    Authenticity, my dear.
    You live that.
    You do ❤

  2. This is why you are truly my LM. You know even though I haven’t spoken of the events of the last week. You know. You see. This is so very perfect for me right now. Thank you, my forever Sister

    I think I prefer authentic life even
    in light somewhat diseased rather
    than the full on blind brilliance
    of that time past asleep in true light
    but wasted light streaming on by
    while my eyes were shut and sealed
    and my heart full of things I knew
    that just weren’t so.

    • “I live here now, in this red infected light
      of lone loss and dewy violet memory and
      I’ve learned to thrive off things despised,
      I’ve learned to sift the dregs and love
      the cast-off lees and living here
      wrapped so warm in Autumn Leaves
      and with The Least of These…”

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