Constance, I simply have to comment on a photo I saw, one intended to give freedom and respect to women, by the way.  I really do believe that.

But here is what is soo disheartening to me, so discouraging to me:  the white board in the photo says “No Rush…whenever you are ready”.  It is in reference to whenever a woman wants to have sex with any of these guys (or any guy, I guess).

Good for the realization that women are subjects with free will and intelligence and inherent worth and supreme value…but ohhhh, it broke my heart in its assumption.  When a woman was going to have sex was oh so graciously ceded as her choice to make, supposedly without pressure…THAT there would be sex however, that seems to me to be just assumed as a fait accompli!

The implication to me was that a woman was still viewed as an object for sexual pleasure, just one a bit more complicated and finicky and in need of careful managing in order to pull off a successful congress.

Until such a sign is not really even thought of, there will always be the presupposition that a woman must eventually enter into sexual contact to experience validity.

I have strong feelings about sexuality which are by far in the minority these days, and I am sure that colors my reaction to the picture.  But maybe it lends my point of view some credence if you imagine pics that are in reference to say going for a walk and talking about ideas and the pic says “No rush…we can walk and talk and think if you would like to do that”…

…or walking the dog:  “Would you like to walk my dog with me?”

…or going to the symphony, or going to a decorative garden, or a lecture, or a movie just for, not as a prelude to anything.

I absolutely believe that a woman is in charge of her life, her destiny and who she decides to do what with and when.  Nothing to dispute there…I am just lamenting assumption, and its limiting, shrinking effect on who we are.

Charissa Grace


3 thoughts on “ASSUMPTIONS

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