I think this is what someone who cares for me is trying to say…

Intimacy is not who you let touch you.
Intimacy is who you text at 3am about your dreams and fears.
Intimacy is giving someone your attention, when ten other people are asking for it.
Intimacy is the person always in the back of your mind, no matter how distracted you are.

God knows the horrors of assumption, and as is my mantra, forgive me my presumption such as it is.

This is my heart of hearts trying to yelp (See Horton Hears a Who) and break out of the cloud of unknowing that smothers and socks in with the fog of self-loathing.

You are there, always, in the back of my mind.

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I SOO love the exposure of the entitlement thinking here…

the following photo was take in 1937 and captioned as follows:

In 1937 two women caused a car accident by wearing shorts in public for the first time

I read the following comment on a site where I just spotted this:

No they didn’t. The man driving his car who took his eyes off the road because he was staring at a pair of women caused a car crash. He averted his eyes from the road, he endangered other people and he crashed his own car. This is all the proof you need that we live in a society that blames women for things they didn’t do.

Constance…your assignment for today:  think of all the ways that we blame shift in our society…because blame-shifting is such a common thing for humans to do anyway (hey, see Genesis:  the woman blames the snake, and then Adam blames the woman, and then blames God too…).

But there are huge ways we do that culturally…rape is a good one to look at.  Ways that people are either empowered with entitlement in shifting blame to women for being raped, or ways that women are violated even deeper in that they are made responsible for their own violation.

Race is another one…and the issue of “driving while black, walking while black, or fill in the blank while black” and how police authorities then blame-shift their own hatred, or fear, or whatever onto the ones they brutalize.

Religion is another, and it is a veritable tennis match as haters on both sides shift viscous volleys of blame back and forth from “those damned liberals” to “those ignorant fundies”.

And now that you are warmed up…how about just lil old you?  How do you blame shift onto others?  (Charissa will not comment regarding her own woodshedding with Mama regarding that Q)

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The Last 33 Years…

You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce.
Tony Gaskins

…seem very different to me when I view them thru these glasses…god what have I done to myself, and how do I undo it?

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Messages Off a Cigarette – Draught | calliopes lyre

Messages Off a Cigarette – Draught | calliopes lyre.

This one I decided to press, rather than reblog…wander on over to Cookie’s blog, won’t you?  I know I am much the richer because of it, and quite a lot of the pain that I had no words for (omg, yes, imagine that!  CHARISSA has no words????) she managed to tap into and say for me…

…and for that measure of relief, I am grateful.  It is like a thumb push on the morphine pump of hope to keep me going.