More Lara Croft Than Lana Turner

Speaking for us,
making a way
for those of us
shattered by abuse
and raped by men…

defending the powerless,
which is (unfortunately)
most all of us (even men)
in this paradigm
of patriarchy and privilegetumblr_nkee9iBwQ81qzs7m3o2_1280It is far,
far deeper
and more complex
than anyone
lets on or is allowed
to show…

I could be wrong…
I could be vapid as vapor…
(or wapid as waper, you wascally wabbit!)
but my heart tattoos say otherwise

they are more Lara Croft than Lana Turner.tumblr_nkhrs3tQ911qk2poao4_1280

If I Was Leelah’s Mom | Trans-Parenting

If I Was Leelah’s Mom | Trans-Parenting.

Debi Jackson does a far better job writing about Leelah and parenting than my bathos drenched wretch of a post…please follow the link and read the words of a woman who has mothered me…and she doesn’t even know it…or me.

Cus just reading her FB and her articles, well it is like her steadfast fierce love is big enough to get into my past and do some good loving in those hurting spots.

I esteem her highly, and ask that you make mention of her in your prayers so she could always be strong, and fierce, and joyous.

thanks Debi…from a long lost surrogate daughter,


The Courageous Debi Jackson

Constance, I am posting here a speech given by Debi Jackson…it speaks for itself very well.  Debi is a woman who loves God, loves people, and has a transgender daughter whom she is championing in a way that I am totally certain makes Mama proud.

Please check it out and let your heart be encouraged that hate can never ever conquer.

Debi…from me my deepest thank you’s and admirations for making a way for your child.

If only…if only…

Love, Charissa

Debi Jackson PFLAG Speech


The Parents Project | Interview: Debi Jackson

The Parents Project | Interview: Debi Jackson.

Please go read this interview.  It tells my story too, in its own way…the story of ostracization based on outward appearance only…and then it has my promise as well…the promise of overcoming by maintaining the faith and trust regardless of others…

just so inspiring.  thank you, debi jackson!



“That’s Good Enough” (Debi Jackson, Mother Of Transgender Child, Gives Moving Speech)

G’Morning Constance!  Another amazing mom tells her story of love and finding her girl inside a little boy’s skin.

I listen to these stories, and wonder what if…

This story is somewhat different, in that this Mom, Debi Jackson, experienced quite a bit of discrimination and trans-misogynist blame.  She takes on the typical tropes that were thrown at her like stones in attempts to police her and her family…and her daughter.

She is a fabulous, poignant speaker.  She is not afraid to show tears and passion…she is unashamed of her love of God, and knows biblical references to refute the hatred thrown her way by so-called christians.

Please…won’t you take a look?  These stories are all similar, but each unique experience adds a special tile to the mosaic of the expression of God to us in humanity.  I am excited to be a part of shining forth the parts that trans-gender people have to show for Them.

Love, Charissa


Debi Jackson, Mother Of  Transgender Child, Gives Moving Speech

Posted: 07/15/2014 11:43 am EDT Updated: 07/15/2014 11:59 am EDT

“My daughter is six years old. She transitioned, which means she changed her outward appearance from male to female and started living full time as her true gender, when she was four. Until that point she was quite a rough and tumble little boy with a buzz cut and a shark tooth necklace.”

And so begins the absolutely beautiful speech Debi Jackson gave earlier this year about her transgender daughter, AJ, at the Unity Temple on the Plaza in Kansas City. As Jackson continues, she outlines how her family came to realize that AJ is transgender, what happened the first day she went to school “in girl clothes” and the bigotry her family faced.

But the best part of the video may be when Jackson addresses the comments she’s heard about her daughter and sets the record straight about statements like you “wanted a girl so you turned your child into one” and “kids have no idea what they want or who they are — my kids wants to be a dog, should I let him?”

Spend six minutes and get to know Jackson and her family a little better. You’ll be happy you did.

(h/t A Note To My Kid)

Absolutely FABULOUS article by a super mom!

OMG…Constance, my heart soars with hope as I discover these amazing people who have left fear behind and have embraced raising their transgender child with the same love and compassion as any other child…and they have the guts to stick up for and defend their child as well against insidious policing efforts.

Just read!  It is informative, simple and easy to comprehend, and deadly to anyone who desires to feed their ignorance!

Love, Charissa


The Lord Looks at the Heart: When My Son Became My Daughter

I am the mom of the little girl called A.J., who was recently profiled in the Kansas City Star. As surprised as I was to find my family in the paper, I am also incredibly proud.


stormy rainbow



Credit Image: Jessica Keating Photography on Flickr 

My daughter is six years old. She transitioned—which means she changed her outward appearance from male to female and started living full-time as a her true gender—when she was four. Until that point, she was quite a rough and tumble little boy with a buzz cut and shark-tooth necklace. But when she was three, she asked her dad and I if we could buy her a princess dress.

We didn’t buy the dress. We thought she might be going through a stage of liking bright or sparkly things and didn’t want to waste money on something she would grow bored of in a week. But she kept asking and I found out that she had a favorite princess dress she wore at daycare. “What the heck?” we thought and took her to the store to pick one out.

Things didn’t stop there. Over the next few months, she started to wear that dress every single minute she was at home. Then she asked for more: dresses, nightgowns, headbands, sparkly pink shoes and eventually even girls’ underwear. We allowed some of those things but drew the line at the undies. There were just some things we weren’t comfortable with during this “phase.”

But then I noticed her pushing down on her genitals a lot and asked her what was wrong. Not having those parts, I assumed she might have a rash and was itchy, but her answer shocked me. She said that they bothered her and were in the way. She wanted them gone.

Thank God for Google because I immediately jumped on the computer and typed in a search …”Four-year-old boy says genitals should be gone.” What came back was a very short list of results, but they all pointed to one thing: My child might be transgender.

I had never even heard the word “transgender” before and really didn’t know what to think. We made an appointment with our pediatrician. She recommended a child psychologist. But before we could even get an appointment, my daughter—then my four-year-old son—said these words to me, “Mom, you know I’m really a girl, right? I’m a girl on the inside.”

That moment changed my life. In the following months, she became more insistent. We saw the psychologist and an endocrinologist to make sure there wasn’t a hidden medical issue. She became more determined to express herself by wearing those pink sparkly shoes to daycare. She wanted to go out for ice cream in a fairy dress and wings. Eventually, we couldn’t hold her back. She was showing signs of depression and refused to leave the house dressed as a boy. The day I let her go to school in girl clothes, she was happier than I had seen her in a very long time. The kids were great. The teachers were awesome.

But then the kids went home and told their parents, and things weren’t so great after that. Adult bigotry influenced them. We lost most of our friends and some family. We basically went into hiding for about a year while my daughter grew her hair out to look like the girl she is. When we emerged again, it was with a very happy and confident daughter.

When I tell our daughter’s story, I hear the same uninformed comments over and over again, so I’d like to address a few of those now.

1. We are liberals pushing a gay agenda.

Nope, sorry. I am a conservative Southern Baptist Republican from Alabama.

2. We (or at least I, because they always blame the mom) wanted a girl, so we turned our child into one.

Again, no. I desperately wanted boys. The idea of raising a girl in today’s world scares me to death. I’d much rather be responsible for raising a good boy who knows how to treat girls well than to be responsible for raising a girl who might only be interested in dating bad boys.

3. “Kids have no idea what they want or who they are. My kid wants to be a dog. Should I let him?”

Well, that’s up to you, but I wouldn’t. There is a profound difference between wanting to be something in imaginary play and in declaring who you are insistently, consistentlyand persistently. Those are three markers that set transgender children apart, and my daughter displayed all of them.

4. Kids shouldn’t have to learn about sex at such a young age.

I agree, so it’s a good thing that being transgender has nothing to do with sex! Gender identity is strictly how a person views him or herself on the inside, and it is completely separate from whom we are attracted to.

5. Transgender people are perverts and shouldn’t be in the bathroom with “normal” people.

I don’t know what you go into a bathroom to do, but I know what my daughter goes in there for… and it isn’t to look around. It’s to go into a stall, lock the door, and pee where no one else can see her.

6. God hates transgender people. They are sinners and going to Hell.

My God taught us to love one another. Jesus sought out those that others rejected. Some people choose to embrace Biblical verses that seem to say being transgender is wrong. I choose to focus on verses like First Samuel 16:7, which says, “But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.'” My daughter is a girl in her heart. She knows it. God knows it. That’s good enough for me.