Mirror Image: A PLEA to Cis-Gender People!

I have been thinking of the extreme reaction that most people have who are uninformed or have never ever given any thought to the construct of gender when they come into contact with a transgender person.  Unfortunately, especially with cismen, this reaction is nearly always violent and abusive emotionally, and very often that violence takes on physical expression as well, and another transwoman joins the broken and crushed ranks of the statistics.

My thoughts are running along the question:  WHY????

Why the violent reaction?  At times ciswomen react that way as well, but usually it is men.  Now, obviously this reaction is not okay in that it results in a lot of hurt in every way.  But to stop there, with the understanding that it isn’t ok is to miss a larger and more salient observation.  It is this…I think that transphobia and dysphoria are mirror images!!

Think about it:  most of the time the horror of cis-gendered males, even fear and loathing…the immediate and totally male reaction of taking physical steps that involve muscle and doing to change something…the attempt to eradicate the “wrong” person and condition…the attempt to “otherize” the trans-person, all in hopes that “normalization” can be reestablished and the status quo restored…

…all of these things mirror the feelings that assail one who suffers from gender dysphoria…the horror of being in the wrong body…the attempt to change that wrongness…the anger and fear of being trapped in the wrong body which is turned inward and becomes depression and suicidal desire.  Tragically, we transgender people have “murdered” as many of us as cis-gender people have, in that we commit suicide at a horrendous rate.

So…please, when you encounter a trans-gender person, and you reflexively go to the far corner of the binary, and if you find strong feelings within yourself about the interaction, stop!  Think!  And try on this idea…

The very same sort of horror you may be feeling is what we have lived with since the day we became conscious!  Except you can go somewhere else and forget about it, but us?  No matter where we go, there we are.

Let me propose a better way…let us all lay down our horror, our revulsion, and let us acknowledge that the binary is simply inadequate and artificial and needs to be trans-cended…let us lift up our hearts and open our spirits to a better way, and assist us all in truly becoming who we are created to be, intended to be.  And let us realize that the miracles of modern medicine and technology can literally work wonders for humans of all gender!