14 Reasons Why It’s Not Okay to Out Someone as Trans – A Public Service Announcement From Your Friendly, Neighborhood Trans Person

I am posting this here…on the very slim chance that the angry and vindictive person who has decided that I am the cause of everything that is wrong in their life might happen to read it (not likely in this lifetime)…

…and perhaps reconsider their choice to out me, and justify it by saying it is their own story to tell and I have no say in how it is told.

True enough…and the consequences, grave though they may be to myself (including assault and murder), are irreversible in the lives of others who are old, and very likely to die soon…and almost certainly not likely to understand in any way, shape, or form and thus have their remaining years marked by sorrow and guilt and mourning…

…it isn’t their fault.

It’s okay to lay the entire responsibility at my feet…I will gladly bear it for you, in joy that by doing you you can be expiated and find new beginnings. Whatever price it costs to set you free is worth it.

But to hurt the others…this hurts my heart in that it seems like senseless destruction…

…and if you argue that this is what “you need” to heal? What does that really say about you, and what you choose to need?tumblr_nlt4ev3Oqp1r8i5lyo1_1280

American Trans Man

Recently, a well-meaning friend of mine disclosed my trans status to a friend of his, someone I hadn’t known previously.  I don’t know that I ever would have found out that he had done so if his friend hadn’t slipped up and referred to me as “she” in front of a group of people.

He quickly corrected himself and moved on with whatever he had been saying, but for me, the damage had been done.

That one little pronoun ripped away my confidence and left me stunned and confused. Although it still happens once in a while, being seen as female has been a rare occurrence for me over the past six months, so I asked myself why this person whom I had just met would confuse me with a woman?  Was it obvious that I was trans?  Was I kidding myself, walking around in the world thinking that I…

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3 thoughts on “14 Reasons Why It’s Not Okay to Out Someone as Trans – A Public Service Announcement From Your Friendly, Neighborhood Trans Person

  1. This is still haunting me- the idea that someone would out a person to others like this. I haven’t written about it yet because I can’t identify how it makes me feel. I mean, I am obviously alarmed and upset and outraged that someone would threaten to do that to you or anyone else. It’s just so wrong.

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