God I did this for 50 YEARS!! (and didn’t even know!)

Constance, I am posting this because I did this for sooo many years, just what came natural to me as I was pressured by people and situations…

When you teach your daughter, explicitly or by passive rejection, that she must ignore her outrage, that she must be kind and accepting to the point of not defending herself or other people, that she must not rock the boat for any reason, you are not strengthening her prosocial sense; you are damaging it—and the first person she will stop protecting is herself.
Martha Stout

I am a bit sad, a bit outraged, a bit angry, and a bit despairing…I have been cheated out of giving, cheated out of living…but the worst is that I cheated myself by not letting myself be true and honest.



9 thoughts on “God I did this for 50 YEARS!! (and didn’t even know!)

  1. It is difficult to look back. You get angry, feel cheated and there seems to be no closure. Look forward because you have a beautiful future. I was told recently that “no emotion is a wasted one”, but, regret and anger attempt to steal joy and that is something we just do not need. It is so much easier to say than to do. WHat can we do with all of this anger that lingers, all of this injustice? Write it out, girl…Let’s keep writing it out…(((hugs))) ❤

  2. You did the best you could with what you had. I know that sounds really cliche and it just trips off the tongue way too easy but you know what? There’s truth in there. Everything happens for a reason. I truly believe that. If we are lucky, we sometimes even find out what the reason was. ( I’m still waiting for an explanation myself but somehow I think I’m just stuck with knowing that it all happened for some reason.) While we are all free to make choices in our lives, I strongly believe they lead us to where we are supposed to be.

    And it’s okay to feel sad, outraged, angry and despairing. It’s a roller coaster ride. Hang on tight and enjoy the parts that you can. Those other parts? Hang on tighter and try not to be too hard on yourself. You’re only human and I believe you did the best you could. 🙂

  3. “…the first person she will stop protecting is herself.”

    Oh my gosh, this runs so deep for me and so many others. I did the same for 30+ years. When I was a child, I was told to “put on a happy face” anytime I was out-of- emotional-line. What that taught me was that it was more important to appear happy that it was to actually be happy and I proceeded to appear as such…for years.

    Now I know it’s okay to defend myself and rock the boats that need rocking. And that it’s okay to feel every emotion on the spectrum. We were created as human beings with emotions for Specific purposes. Now that I don’t need to feel guilty about that, I allow myself the luxury of feeling them in My space and time.

    Thank you for this, Sis.
    SO timely ❤

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