Because I heard your heart…

Kat, your kind and honest gladness when I talk a bit about my poems…

that is the reason I am going to say just a bit here, about the poem I just posted called

In the Edges.

So my astrological sign is Cancer, which is symbolized by a crab…which has a shell, and walks sideways and indirect and likes to be surrounded by rocks or crevices, or such comforts…but is also bound to the moisture and life of the sea, lest it dry out and perish in the sand. But it must come out of the sea as well, or it will drown, stayed too long.  So there is this edge, where sea and sand and sun merge, and that is my dwelling place as a crab…

…and in life too…in the edges, on the edges, as a transgender person.  I can go “freely” in the 3 worlds of “sun”, “sand”, and “sea”, but not ever truly “free”…caught here, in this shell…

a long time ago I wrote a poem about that shell called Carapace.  I quite like this poem, and felt that it never really got the attention it was worthy of…but that is just me.  Ultimately I guess, you, Constance, determine that, eh?

I will never be able to throw off this physical shell, not until I have to give way to the Dread champion death and pay the toll laid cross our shoulders by Father Adam…but thank God that the ransom is paid already by The Risen One, and so on the other side o death’s raving sundering of body and soul I shall at last be set free, and given a new body which only They know its frame and scope and span…

…but sun (frame) and sand (scope) and sea (span) are their own shell too, and I can throw off the carapace of roles and rules and expectations and dwell best I can in the seas of the woman I am, letting her break forth everyday greater, claiming more sand as sea, and cooling the hot licks of a cruel sun.

In the meantime…every ebb and flow, high and low tide, I am pulled back and forth…

in the edges

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2 thoughts on “Because I heard your heart…

  1. “but sun (frame) and sand (scope) and sea (span) are their own shell too, and I can throw off the carapace of roles and rules and expectations and dwell best I can in the seas of the woman I am, letting her break forth everyday greater, claiming more sand as sea, and cooling the hot licks of a cruel sun.”

    A beautiful post.
    Truly lovely, Sis ❤

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