Rambling Thoughts at 3:00a.m.

Hi Constance…If you have read here for any length of time, you will know that I esteem and respect Kat greatly…her love and commitment to her loved ones is admirable and worthy. She captures in this post the astonishment that we feel, we who are transgender, when our deepest truth that most characterizes who we are is known…and then we are thought to be actually something freakish, something worthy only of a circus side show in spite of the fact we are still the exact same person.

Constance, when we finally gather courage and share our burden with you, it is because we long for your participation in our lives in a deeper and more meaningful way…it does NOT mean that we want you to punish us…with name calling…with hard attitudes and harder hearts, with intractable and implacable faces and spirits.

Here is a clue…your othering of us will not change us, will not cure us…but it might in fact just overburden us with despair and make all the difference in the world, and end up being that bullet in the gun that finally shoots us dead. I am talking literally, here

The power of life and death is in your mouth…but your mouth will only speak forth what is in your heart already. Life is already monolithic enough, difficult enough without the sort of othering and policing that goes on…and especially if you are family.

Please read Kat’s post…and hear the cry of her heart, and let your own be rendered in compassion and pity to the point that you would overflow to those around you who are thirsty.

Love, Charissa

Dandelion Fuzz

Why is it you have your most lucid thoughts late at night when you are supposed to be asleep?

I suspect this might take on more of the tone of a rant than a rambling. Instead of being that startlingly clear thought that I usually have just seconds before falling asleep only to try to recreate it by the light of day, this has nagged at me for awhile. And tonight it just won’t let go. When it has come to mind in the past- not quite formed….just a random thought… I could think about it, mull it over, write it in my head and fall asleep, probably in the middle of my most brilliant sentence. That is not the case tonight.

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Not long ago I had a conversation with a transgender friend about what her expectations were when she came out to her family. She said that she was…

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4 thoughts on “Rambling Thoughts at 3:00a.m.

  1. Thank you. Your words speak volumes and they are words that “family” cannot seem to hear. Three years and the complete destruction of a family later….still.

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