Gifts I Never Had, Never Knew Could Be

Sister, open hearts, strong minds and stronger wills
Delicate and fine and indomitable.

Knowing paths, shortcuts
(so, Rissa, right around this corner, yeah that goat path
right there, over the brookstones skip hop and jump
and voila!  Saved 5 miles and come out by Starbucks!)

I have always been outside (and never out there),
but I listened so hard, and I learned the murmer of voices
and the rise and fall of song, of tears, of friends.
I practiced when I was alone, (I practiced all the time)

Last year I walked beyond the blade’s reach
(my neck still feels steel teeth and slice) but it
still croons cold, calls, cackles when I shake and
plug my ears in terror.

But this time, after a war-night and thready sleep,
I humbled myself, and took the risk…and I asked.
I asked MamaMick (um can I just say AHH-MAZING!!??
mother, wife, friend, writer, christian, and still has inside issues
just like me?? So great and so nice it scares me).
I asked Kat (steady, the loudest quiet person I know
or is she the quietest loud person? Kat, solid and
marathoner’s legs and sprinter’s heart…gives me so much
calm and gut chuckle peace).
I asked Dani (*insert 15 volume dissertation here*),

and of course my baby, there always, and then Heather
jumps in with funny pics and also this:

“Time to trust your subconscious and mama and
________ and me, and all your other peeps and
pack away your worries and trust yourself in the
process.  I will send you a supportive photo”
Giggle…see this:  and I was ‘posed to say “DON’T F**K WITH THE CAT SHARK cat…thingy!IMG_7396

I let me be buried, be shoved down and bound,
but went out to the slaughter feeling like a goat (scape)
and not a lamb.

And then, trickle, stream…you.  Your words.
and soon I was lifted and floating a bit, and then…

…it was done.

I MADE IT!  And though I hurt, I never freaked out!

You, sisters, are the gifts I never had,
never knew could be,
You are Lady Grace Incarnate, and here…right here
with me

tumblr_n8224wKXPs1rpe0jco1_500crystal-hardins-image-of-these-two-sisters-feet-on-wall-with-hearts Image 001these-two-sisters-photo-project-image-by-crystal-hardin-of-sisters-snuggling

 

8 thoughts on “Gifts I Never Had, Never Knew Could Be

  1. “I have always been outside (and never out there),
    but I listened so hard, and I learned the murmer of voices
    and the rise and fall of song, of tears, of friends.
    I practiced when I was alone, (I practiced all the time)”

    All that practice now placed and perfected through these Folds we trace.
    Together.
    Always.

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