I have a new hero…she is representative of a relatively small percentage of parents…and perhaps an even smaller percentage of that small percentage: She is the parent of a transgender child; and she is refusing to be anything but her child’s greatest cheerleader, and giver of unconditional love and acceptance.
Her name is Kat.
She is walking the walk.
We all “love” our kids, right? No…we LOVE our kids! And then they do something…human. Make a mistake, act without wisdom, or tell us something that is at odds with some of the ossified gender assumptions still embedded in our culture.
When this happens, unfortunately and all too often we “lovers of our children” become harsh, rejecting, distant, abusive, or shaming. We think we are doing them good…showing “tough love”, or whatever other euphemism we use to cover up the fact that we are not really loving, without any thought to ourselves and that we are exercising our fear and disapproval and seeking to use these things to control our children’s behaviour.
But there are parents who refuse to turn away, refuse to be their child’s first bully and harshest critic.
Kat is one of them…and it ain’t easy. It means being a pain-eater and a love giver. It means being other-oriented and firm on the wall on behalf of their child instead of against.
My parents gave me life, lots of love, and a good headstart in life…but I really do wonder what might have been if along with those things, there had not been the harsh experiences and words over some of those early days?
Kat re-blogged this video, with some great comments…go watch. In it, you will meet another set of parents…parents who love with open hand and live with open heart towards their darling children.
Kat, you inspire me. Reading of the price you pay is somehow healing to me, in my own inner child. Thank you Sis, and God Bless you always!