Reposting my new hero

Friday Fuzz….on Sunday | Dandelion Fuzz.

I have a new hero…she is representative of a relatively small percentage of parents…and perhaps an even smaller percentage of that small percentage:  She is the parent of a transgender child; and she is refusing to be anything but her child’s greatest cheerleader, and giver of unconditional love and acceptance.

Her name is Kat.

She is walking the walk.

We all “love” our kids, right?  No…we LOVE our kids!  And then they do something…human.  Make a mistake, act without wisdom, or tell us something that is at odds with some of the ossified gender assumptions still embedded in our culture.

When this happens, unfortunately and all too often we “lovers of our children” become harsh, rejecting, distant, abusive, or shaming.  We think we are doing them good…showing “tough love”, or whatever other euphemism we use to cover up the fact that we are not really  loving, without any thought to ourselves and that we are exercising our fear and disapproval and seeking to use these things to control our children’s behaviour.

But there are parents who refuse to turn away, refuse to be their child’s first bully and harshest critic.

Kat is one of them…and it ain’t easy.  It means being a pain-eater and a love giver.  It means being other-oriented and firm on the wall on behalf of their child instead of against.

My parents gave me life, lots of love, and a good headstart in life…but I really do wonder what might have been if along with those things, there had not been the harsh experiences and words over some of those early days?

Kat re-blogged this video, with some great comments…go watch.  In it, you will meet another set of parents…parents who love with open hand and live with open heart towards their darling children.

Kat, you inspire me.  Reading of the price you pay is somehow healing to me, in my own inner child.  Thank you Sis, and God Bless you always!

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3 thoughts on “Reposting my new hero

  1. Charissa, I’m so touched and honored and I can’t even find the right words for how your post makes me feel. I’ve been sitting here reading, re-reading, thinking, crying. Thank you. I don’t know if you realize how much this means to me. It’s been a bad day. And you made it better, Just like that.

    I am so sorry that you didn’t get the parental support you needed. I never gave it any thought- what to do with Kris when he told us. I just did it. And I don’t understand why some parents can’t.

    Thank you. Your strength and grace inspire me to keep writing.

    • Omg…just omg! Kat, sere, you are literally amazing! You had been on my heart all day. I kept having you come to mind, and come to heart inside me, and I was just praying and saying blessings for you, and sending you my gratitude and gratefulness, as if to vicariously express to you what you WILL hear in the years to come.

      I am typing thru tears right now, as I really actually know about the difficulty that certain days can bring. When we are so up against the wall and no where to go but on…and somehow we do, and don’t know how we did.

      I am mindful of you, and without telling anyone else what or how to believe, I bring you to the Ones that Love me, and ask Them to be mindful of you as well.

      I will walk with you, here in my place and you in yours…for hearts and loyalties and bonds between those who will choose to love the ones given into their charge are invisible and not affected by time and space and geography.

      The Day of Laughter approaches, and when it dawns, we will stand side by side and laugh sooo hard that we cry…tears of joy and relief instead of the ones that come here.

      Always remember Kat…those who go forth sowing with tears will return, reaping with songs of joy. And I pray that you will see the Goodness of God in the land of the living.

      Love always, much grace and peace, and every ounce of affirmation and strength I can send,
      Charissa Grace

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