Since I wrote the posts this morning, I have been thinking about my daughters.
They are both in their 20s, and are extremely close to one another, in an amazing and very healthy way. And they are among the extraordinarily small cadre that I would consider friends.
See, they have always trusted me, listened to me and enjoyed being together with me. Back in their younger days, I was their Daddy, tall and strong and knowing everything. Whatever I told them they received as simply true and settled. Words cannot begin to describe how deeply ministering they were (and are) to my longing heart. They trusted me when I did everything I could to bequeath to them the gift of their relationship with one another.
Many siblings are not actually close…I know that in my own case, I am cordial with mine, but not at all close. They both resented me when we were high school age because I had decided to play the role of “the good child” and do well in school, good in sports, etc…whereas they each pushed back at things more than I did. Thus they were close and I was on the outside far more. And of course the whole gender dysphoria complicated things greatly.
But my girls…close companions and dedicated sisters who actively have been there for each other since the very beginning. The love and affection they have for each other breaks me inside with Joy. The openness towards me and their mother too…we have talked since I came out to them, and they recount so much of what I taught them that they now recognize was me, Charissa, speaking from inside the shell of unknowing.
They are so alike, and so different! They are alike in how they are each highly intelligent and very talented women! Strong personalities and will, good organizers and administrators, committed to authentic living and relationship. They are very beautiful, but do not fawn over things, having sussed out the ways that the culture seeks to police and other them with fashion and diminish them as human beings because they are female. They are each true to their word, and would lay down their lives unhesitatingly for anyone to whom they have chosen to be committed to.
My oldest daughter is so feisty, so fiery and aware of ideas and the importance of thought patterns. She is quick and fluid to react emotionally, but also quick to allow wisdom and counsel to guide her and temper her initial reactions. She keeps confidences like they are sacred, to her own suffering and detriment. If she thinks you are wrong, she will oppose you because she truly believes that is the loving thing to do, deliver you from error. She already was a fierce advocate for human rights and specifically women’s rights and LGTB rights…and since she has known of me she has sought to educate herself on all aspects of gender so as to be an even better friend and daughter and supporter than she already was. She is like fire to me, keeping me warm and being a source of encouragement to me.
My youngest daughter is equally smart, aware, committed and forthright. But her personality is so different. She is like water to me, when I perish and am parched, or am dirty and need washing from my anxieties, fears, hurts and burdens. She has been such a help and a facilitator for me, and her strength and confidence has been a big enabler for me to keep on and never give up.
To not be on my own…to be loved and accepted…things that so many take for granted as their birthright, and to transgender people things that are exceedingly rare and precious…thanks to my beloved (of course), but even more…